hide the petals
by JAE NI
Summary: The fate of the flower was to be plucked from the ground, be coveted by its petals and placed in a precious jar to be observed from up close, as everyone waited for it to wither and die. Now, in order to bloom, Hae Soo will have to fight her destiny and break the dome of glass. – "You'll marry the 8th Prince in five days." – She'll grow thorns so she doesn't lose her roots.
1. A PROLOGUE

**A\N: Another multichapter thing! Yay! Honestly, this wasn't even going to be written, because it was just a dark thought that came to my mind one night before sleep and that I wrote a small piece of dialogue that was on my 'Never To See The Light Of Day' folder. But then I watched My Mister, and seeing IU perform such a dark character made me go back and polish, outline and write this one.**

 **It's a multichapter, but a short one. That being said, don't trust me with constant updates - lots of assigned reading at college.**

 **The first chapter, however, is already written and is currently being edited. It will be posted tomorrow.**

 **And yay! Happy 2nd Anniversary!**

* * *

"Umma!" Hajin's cry filled the park, and had her mother rushing to her side like a lightning, kneeling down beside her.

"What is it, my dear? What happened?"

"I wanted to take that rose home with me, but it stung me!" She raises her hand, now bleeding from where the thorn broke her skin, crying her eyes out, because even though she knew she could get hurt, she never thought the pain would be so big.

The little girl wants her mother to blow the pain away, take her in her arms and softly whisper things in her ear, until she's not hurting anymore. Instead, she gains a scolding.

"Hajin-ah! I told you not to touch the roses," her mother chastises her, but still cleans the blood from her hand, brushing it softly against hers, "Didn't I explain it to you?"

"But, Umma!" Hajin is not crying anymore, but she's still upset and pouts when she justifies herself, "I wanted to take it home with me."

"And where would we put the flower in, Hajin-ah? We don't have a backyard in the apartment."

"I was going to put in that blue jar. It's empty isn't it?"

Her mother sighs, and she winces thinking she'll be punished. But then, she brings her daughter closer to the bush of roses that Hajin was playing with and starts to speak with a soft and caring tone.

"Look, Hajin-ah. All flowers have to be in the dirt, because their roots need to find nutrients," her mother explains carefully, pointing to where the stem disappeared in the ground, and turning around to see if she was understanding correctly, "If you cut the flower, it won't have its roots anymore, so the flower will be hungry. Would you like if someone took out your mouth and didn't let you eat?"

"No…"

"Even if you put the flower in the water, it will eventually wither and die. The flower doesn't want that, and that's why she grows thorns, so nobody takes her away."

"So I can't take the flowers home?"

"Just to put in a vase for you to watch it? Why, when you can always come down here to see them?" Hajin sees the logic in her mother's reasoning, so she nods, acquiescing to that advice, "Now, don't be mad at the rose for stinging you and apologize properly to it. Remember, it's always the small and defenseless things that need protection the most. And if nobody protects them, they learn how to protect themselves."


	2. THE ANNOUNCEMENT

**A\N: And here is chapter one! I'm really glad to be able to put this out, and I appreciate all kinds of support - kudos, comments, hits and all else - from you guys.**

 **Just to clarify a few things I forgot to mention before: This will be a SoSoo work - sorry, i can't have Soo or So with anyone else - but there will be a lot more complicated than just making them marry and we're done. Not sure if that makes sense now, so bear with me (and read it!)**

 **The beginning of the story is in the middle of Episode 16 - that beautiful timeskip with Soo by the lake - which means that Yo is king, and Mu, Eun, Oh Sanggung, Seun Deok and all the others are dead. Sorry guys, had to do it.**

 **Things will be clarified in this chapter - I hope -, but if there are still any dobts, feel free to drop a PM or something, and I'll try to explain better.**

 **Enjoy your reading!**

* * *

In the second year of Jeongjong's reign, the announcement comes to her with no warning or anticipation.

Just like all of the other dreary news she has received before, it's unexpected and shocking to the point of incredulity. Like it was the betrayal of her boyfriend and her best friend, and all of the debts made in the name of Go Hajin. Like when she woke up in Goryeo, and later when her Unnie passed away. It's also similar to how she found out about her wedding to the King Taejo, and how she felt about the king changing and the princes dying as the war for the throne intensified, and Oh Sanggung sacrificing herself to protect Hae Soo.

This time, however, she's good at hiding her expressions, so she does not jump in surprise nor does her eyes bulge with astonishment when the voice of the king Jeongjong breaks the silence after she has poured and offered him a cup of his daily tea.

"You'll marry the 8th Prince in five days," he says casually, as if he's indifferent to the whole matter.

Her heart stops beating immediately, and she feels like she's about to die. She feels like the earth is cracking open right under her feet and she's about to be swallowed up alive. She feels like a lightning struck down on her and the shock is giving her hallucinations. At least, she wishes it were so.

She wishes that the past few months were just a really long nightmare and now she's about to wake up.

"Pardon me, Pyeha?"

Her voice is neutral, just as the rest of her body. But he knows what she's thinking. He must know, since his grin grows in a maniac and snakelike manner, and she has to control herself to not say anything inattentive, to not show any weakness or fear, to not lose control and break down right in front of him.

"Are you shocked?" he mocks her and she doesn't bat an eye, but that does not discourage him, "As a court lady, even a high ranked one, you belong to me, so I can offer you in marriage to anyone. Isn't that so?"

He wants her to defy him, and she knows it. She wants to protest and he knows it. However, in this twisted era, Hae Sanggung is indeed a mere possession of the King. And in this twisted kingdom, the monarch is a manipulator and conniving person, who's willing to do anything just to see the world burn.

There is no escape for her. If she protests or tries to fight back, she'll only amuse him. And in the end she'll still have to do as he says. So she bites her tongue and resists the impulse of running away, of screaming at him or anything of the sort.

"Yes, that is correct," she says in her calm tone, "My confusion is to why are you letting me go, and to the 8th prince, nonetheless." _Since I am your bait_. She doesn't finish her sentence, but she doesn't have to. When his grin grows bigger she knows he understands what she's trying to do.

"Wook has betrayed me before, you know that, right?" he explains casually, playing with his cup before sipping his tea, "I have to keep him close, so I can properly watch his moves. And I need you close as well, even though there is a chance that you'll try to poison me with your tea. If I ever need to get rid of one of you, it will be easier if I tear you both down at the same time."

His logic is distorted in its own way, but she can see what he's trying to achieve. However, it doesn't matter how much she despises serving the man before her, the prospects of marrying the 8th Prince scare and revolt her even more. And yet, she takes a controlled and discreet deep breath and tries to argue calmly.

"The others might think you're rewarding him."

"That's right. And it'll be good if they think that we are in good terms," he says it as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. Then he gives back the empty cup to be refilled, his evil smile transforming in a chuckle, "However, the face I want to see the most when I announce it is the one of my 4th brother."

She shouldn't look directly at him, but she does when he mentions the 4th Prince. She stares at his penetrating gaze, and that's the furthest she'll go in her resistance. And even though she's good at hiding her emotions, even though her guard is up and she's in complete control of her expressions, she can't hide the hurt in her eyes.

She can't conceal the pain of being left behind. Nor can she prevent it from being heard in her voice, "You'll surely be displeased."

"Yes, I heard about your fallout, but I need to be sure, right?" He takes back his full cup and speaks in a false wonder, "Who knows, maybe you'll be surprised."

The King's mocking words just make the sorrow sting deeper in her heart. Soo doesn't want to know how the 4th Prince will react, because it will be painful no matter what. It will hurt if continues to be indifferent; it will hurt if he shows even a single bit of concern. It will hurt because now he will be completely out of reach and she's going to spend the rest of her days with someone else.

"What has the 8th Prince said about this matter?"

Jeongjong laughs then. Shortly and quietly, but his eyes are full with mirth and amusement, and he lets his head fall back in elation, "You know what he said. He'll probably come to see you later today."

She doesn't want him to come see her. She doesn't want him to even get a little close to her. She wants to run away or to be able to do something, but she feels tied down to a millstone and she can't breath. She has to allow herself to submerge, because otherwise she won't be able to even exist anymore.

She doesn't want to be married to the 8th Prince, but if that's how things are, then she has to do her best to survive.

"May I ask for a further date?" The King looks at her in surprise, actually amazed that she dared to oppose his order, even if just a little, just a small attempt of a humble request to be able to breath just a little longer.

 _Please, let me be free from him for just a while._

"Are you hoping to escape?"

"I have accepted my fate long ago. I won't fight, nor will I try to escape, I won't even say one word of complaint." And she really won't. Unlike the last time she was offered in marriage, there's no one who can help her now, all of them gone, or dead, or simply indifferent to her situation. And if she decided to cut her other wrist, she wouldn't end up with just a scar. "I merely wish to prepare my successor in the Damiwon. I'd hate to see all my years, and the years of the Sanggung before me, go to waste because of an unprepared leader."

Jeongjong muses silently for a while. She manages to continue poised even though she's desperate. Even though her harmless request can backfire on her, should he decide to simply marry her the very next day, or grant her a lame and mocking delay of two days before she has to leave the palace and return to the 8th Prince residence.

Her apprehension, however, fades a little when his words resonate through her once again.

"All right, I'll allow your preparations." He turns to her and dismisses her with a gesture, his smile returning when he sees her slightly relaxed shoulders, "Even if you try to run away, it will be fun."

.

.

.

.

Hae Soo tries her best to avoid her future husband.

She takes deserted and long routes to walk around the palace. She says she's not to be disturbed the second she puts a foot on the Damiwon and closes herself off in the safety of her office or her bedroom. She always takes a couple of court ladies with her when she goes to see the king.

However, she was bound to lose and to be found, so one day, while she walked from her office to her room, she hears him calling out her name.

She freezes when his voice reaches and curses internally the costumes in this millennium that don't allow her to just ignore him and keep walking, or at least punch him in the face.

She freezes, but does not bow, and silently waits for him to walk closer, until he's finally right next to her. The 8th Prince keeps saying things to her, but she doesn't care and she doesn't listen. She freezes and does not move, nor does she look at him.

"Was it your doing, Wangjanim?" Her question seems to put an end to whatever it was that he was babbling about. She doesn't want to hear him, she just wants to leave, but she has to check a few facts before.

Soo continues to look to a distant point, straight-ahead of her eyes, so she can't see how he reacts to her inquiry. But his voice gives enough clarification as he speaks.

"I merely took the chance that was before me."

She wonders if he had always been this calculative and cold man he is now. She asks herself how she could have one day firmly believed she could be happy with him. She fights not to scoff at his words and let her resentment show through her body.

"Of course you did," she says in the same neutral tone that Oh Sanggung taught her, "That was the only way for you to have me, wasn't it?"

"Let me explain…"

"If you're going to say it was for my protection," she cuts his reasoning; she does not need his reasons, "Please don't."

"Would you rather live in the palace, then?"

There is a coldness, sharp like steel, in his voice. A subtle threat in the way he speaks, and a conviction that he is her savior. She'd rather spend the rest of her life serving Jeongjong than living under the same roof as him.

"Yes, I would. You couldn't even bother to ask me, could you? You couldn't even think that I wouldn't want to be tied to you."

"What other option do you have?" He doesn't offer any explanations anymore, and resorts to his twisted logic, "He has left you already."

"This was always a competition for you, wasn't it?" She remembers how he kept saying that the 4th Prince had taken him from her, and how one day he would make her return to his side, and she wishes she had put a stop to things between them before his feelings had created roots, "Is that why you poisoned the late king?"

"Soo-yah…"

"I have no saying in the wedding. Nor can I do anything to change it. I told the king I won't revolt nor will I say anything, but just so you know for sure, I won't walk contentedly to the ceremony." She looks at him then, staring coldly and firmly in his eyes, letting her words carry every ounce of the feelings she has been hiding ever since she found out she would be given to him, "I'll complete my tasks as Sanggung wanting to run away and get away from you. Tomorrow, I'll get dressed and painted hoping that some sort of miracle will take me away from your filthy hands. I will complete all the rites wishing that the King will decide to execute me for regicide, or that I could at least kill myself before being united to you. And every single moment of my life, every time I see you, be it from up close or from far away, I will be regretting the moment I first took your hand. For taking even my last freedom from me, I will despise you eternally."

He doesn't show any reaction to her words, but she knows very well that he's skilled at keeping appearances under his masks. He was good at it when he was distant from the court and from the palace, now, as an aspirant to the throne, she wonders how many new layers he has put on.

"Even after what he did, you'll still maintain your feelings?"

His mocking tone doesn't shake her resolve, "That does not concern you. But unlike you, the 4th Prince would never force me into an unwanted marriage. I just wish I had met him before I had met you."

"You speak so highly now, but you didn't even bat an eye when you replaced me."

"Believe in what you want to believe," She looks away from him and back to the random point, keeping her posture firm and her voice controlled, "You'll have my body, Wangjanim, but you'll never own my heart."

Hae Soo does not bow after she has finished speaking. She just stands there silently, waiting until he's far away from her, and then she crashes down to the floor.

.

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

The walk back to her room after staying up until late at night is painful. She spent the last few days wrapping everything up so the new Sanggung could take over her responsibilities easily. She spent the last few hours collecting her personal belongings in her office so she could have some sort of solace in her new home. She spent the last few minutes just sitting in the chair, making another copy of a poem that was given to her in the past, and then just staring at the nothings, hoping that something would happen to free her from what was coming in the morning.

She wondered if her way out would be jumping in the external bath and waiting until another mystical event dragged her to another period. Or just waiting until everything was over. She wanted time to stop and that the Sun never raised again, so she could stay away from the 8th Prince forever.

However, trying to go back was not a viable option, suicide was not a solution, and the hours kept passing by.

So now she goes back to her room, keeping the promise she made with the king to not run away. And in the morning she would leave the Damiwon for good and return to the 8th Prince residence.

She remembers how much she had wished for it in the past, but now she only feels dread.

She feels dread and a twinge of sorrow, because, even though she had intended to marry the 8th Prince in the past, right now there is only one man she wanted. And after years of waiting, fighting and suffering because of her, he had finally decided it was enough for him.

Even though she showed indifference when her future husband mentioned him, the truth is that she still longs and weeps for him. She had vowed to wait for him, no matter how long it took, and now she's getting married to his eighth brother.

Her walk finally comes to an end as she closes the door behind her and lean against it. Her room is engulfed in darkness, but she does not bother to light the candles. She stands at the door for a while and then walks to her bed, wishing that at least her dreams would be gentle with her.

She walks slowly, careful not to hit any furniture or open chests lying around.

And then something hits her.

Her squeak of surprise does not leave her mouth, and she feels a hand sealing it tight. Before she can panic, though, she hears a voice.

"Soo-yah."

Her eyes bulge and the fear for her life becomes a fear for his. She puts her hands over his, signaling she won't scream, and when he lets go of her she allows her feelings to show.

"You shouldn't be here."

"I don't care."

His lips are on hers then, and even though she's still surprised by his presence - her heartbeat increased, her thoughts are a mumbling mess - she can't help the relief and the happiness that starts to spread around her chest, because he's here, he's kissing her. He's kissing her like he used to do before, a hand pulling her closer by her neck, the other by her waist, and she can't do anything but cling to his shoulders, trying to desperately bring him closer as well.

He's kissing her, and the world outside doesn't exist.

He has to pull away eventually, as they are both out of breath, and there's still much to talk about. He pulls away slowly, almost hesitantly, and she tries to see as much of him as she can in the penumbra.

"You said…" she starts to repeat what he said the last time they saw each other, but he cuts her.

"I lied," the 4th Prince says, still holding her face carefully, "Forgive me, I lied."

"I knew it."

Soo hugs him tightly, burying her face in his chest, her arms wrapping firmly around his waist. She would be mad at his lie later, not now, when she's so happy to see him after wishing for it so desperately.

"I shouldn't have left you here." His lips graze her ear, and his warm breath tingles her neck and she smiles at his closeness and his words.

"It's alright. You're here now."

"It's not alright. He's marrying you to Wook. I'm going to kill him."

"This is actually the 8th Prince idea."

"It doesn't matter whose idea it is. I'm putting an end to it now." She feels his arms grasp tightly around her, "Let's run away."

It's not the first time she thinks about doing that. It may not even be the last, but hear him saying it aloud it's something else entirely.

"What?" She pulls away a little bit from his embrace, trying to see his face and expression properly. She's taken aback by his proposal, but not shocked, as he had a tendency of blurting out such things - just like when he first confessed or when he first asked her to marry him.

"Let's run away," he repeats as if that's the most reasonable thing in the world, "Right now, before he has more guards around you. Come with me, I'll keep you safe."

She wants to. She really wants to. She wants to follow him to the end of the world and live with him as far as possible from the palace and the shadow of the King.

She wants to, and had Hae Soo been younger, when there was so much of Go Hajin in her, she wouldn't even think twice before saying yes and jumping on the back of his horse, leaving the Damiwon behind.

But now she can only smile bitterly as she caresses his face.

"Where could we go in Goryeo and be safe from the king?"

"We'll go to Khitan. Balhae, Jurche. Even Wei," he answers her rhetorical question with determination, "I don't care how far it is, as long as you come with me."

Soo ignores the way her heart reacts to his words, the way it jumps in joy and expectation, and tries not to cry as her throat clenches when she says what her brain orders her to.

"I can't."

She can almost hear his heart stopping from disappointment. She can almost see his vulnerable expression, even though they're surrounded in darkness. She can almost listen to what he's thinking, as his hand comes to hold hers, looking for an answer she can't give him.

"Is it because of the words I said?" As always, his mind always picks the worst-case scenario, and always thinks he's the one to blame, "Forgive me. I didn't mean any of them. I just…" He hesitates, and his hold loses some of his strength. He takes a deep breath and hangs his head low, as if he's about to make a confession, so she makes sure not to interrupt him until he finishes talking. "The truth is… I'm aiming to be king now. I'll take you away, then I'll attack the palace. Everything will be fine."

Soo hesitates at this new information. Her mind goes back a few years and she remembers her vision on the day of the ritual for rain. She felt dread and fear back then, her anxiousness growing like a stone deep in her chest. But now there's none of that. There's only the dawning realization that she's witnessing the birth of Gwangjong, and how that directly affects everything around her. The 4th Prince Wang So is not a past figure, a historical character she learned about in school. He is a real person, of flesh and bones, right before her, and she knows him.

She knows him, and she knows what is going to happen if something deviates from the course things should be.

"Forgive me, Wangjanim. I can't," she says truly apologetically, but pulls away from his touch and he breaths out at once, surprised by her brusque actions, "You're not ready yet to take the throne, are you?"

So hesitates at her direct question, and that's the only confirmation she needs. Soo doesn't know all the events that led up to Gwangjong's rise to the throne, but he has a lot of work to do if he wishes to overthrow Jeongjong. He knows that as well, as he sighs in frustration, trying to approach and convince her.

"Then you'll be wed to Wook," he says in a defeated voice and she holds his face softly.

"I hate that as much as you do," she reassures him with a gentle voice.

"No, otherwise you'd be willing to run away with me."

He sounds like a child, a child desperate to be loved, and she smiles bitterly, wishing she could see his face properly, or that at least he could see hers. Then she forgets all about discretion and marches out of the room, ignoring his protest pleas.

She comes back right after, though, finding him at the door, as if ready to jump out and go after her. And Soo has to smile when she sees him breathing out in relief after seeing her walk in with a lit fire stick.

She goes to the candle she always leaves on her small table, next to her bed, sitting on the floor before lighting it up illuminating the dark room a little with the small flame; glad to be able to see his face properly after so much time.

But this is no time to be admiring how handsome and refined he looks. She focuses on his words, and on the reality that this is happening, it's not just a groundless fear. This time it's a reality, and she has to understand all there is to his decision, so they are no longer separated by misunderstandings and mismatches.

"Were you serious about being king?" Soo inquires after he walks closer, sitting in front of her.

"I was." He nods calmly.

"And is that why you left me?"

"It is." He doesn't stray his eyes from hers. They both know that she only wants the confirmation of something she's already aware of.

"Are you doing this because of me, or because of power?" She asks on tenterhooks, her voice shaking slightly, already fearing she might lose him to the waging war of politics inside and outside of the palace.

"No," he answers after a pause and she breathes out in relief, "I just want to become a person who can change this country for the better."

So doesn't falter when he speaks, nor do his eyes shake in hesitation. He's determined, she sees, to achieve the highest position in the palace, but not for the reasons she feared, not for the causes her history teachers would say in the future.

She witnesses the birth of Gwangjong, and is not a bloodbath for domination, nor a conspiracy for power. It's just a wish to not see people being treated the way he was before.

It's just a wish to be better. To live better.

She smiles in relief and admiration, wondering once again how could she ever believe that Wang So would be a merciless and cruel tyrant. She smiles, reaching out to hold one of his hands. She brings it closer to her lips, planting a soft kiss of his knuckles, and comes to an answer to his request to travel together to the end of the world.

"Then I'll wait."

"What?" His calm and determinate expression vacillates, as he's clearly caught out of guard by her response.

"You can do something to make me divorce him afterwards, right?" she explains slowly, so he can follow her logic, "I'll wait until you become king."

He gapes for a few seconds, trying to understand what she means at the same time he comes up with more arguments to take her out of there.

"That could take years."

"I would have waited for you even if you hadn't come today." She smiles sweetly in reassurance, as she really would have waited decades for him.

"I can't stand the thought of you with someone else for a minute, even less for years."

"Neither can I. But if that's what it takes, I'll do it."

"I won't," he grunts and raises his hands to her shoulders, in a possessive hold, "I won't let him. I can't."

So has a face of despair and hopelessness, and she remembers the night he first kissed her. The night he thought she was going to shut him out forever.

"Wangjanim," she speaks softly, holding his face and bringing it closer to her, then leaning her forehead on his, "After all that happened, you still don't have faith in us?" she asks in a frustrated voice.

"I do," he groans miserably, his eyes filling with sadness as he begins to give in to her plan, "I just don't like it."

Soo doesn't like her idea either. But just like he let go of her to pursue the throne, she'll let go of him so his life does not deviate from the correct path. She'll go through misery as well, just so he can look bright and resplendent in the future. She owes him at least this much.

Soo does it for him, even though his despaired expression does not fade. He looks more scared than she ever saw him, and she smiles to bring him some confidence.

"Don't worry," she says to encourage him, even though he continues to look miserable, "I won't let him do anything to me. He won't have me. You will, alright?" She wraps her arms around him, trying to warm his cold body, "Every moment I'll be thinking of you."

Soo closes her eyes, ignoring the tomorrow. She decides to focus on the present, on the feeble light of the candle, the sound of his heartbeat, the touch of his fingertips, the weight of his presence.

And then on his lips against hers.

.

.

.

.

Living in Goryeo is hard.

Not that living in the 21st Century was any easier for Go Hajin, being chased by creditors of debts she didn't make before drowning in a lake. However, none of the hardships she ever faced before her bizarre time travel involved the lives of the ones she cared about. Now it's her life that hangs by a thread, and as of tomorrow her life will legally belong to a man she once loved but has come to despise.

Living in Goryeo is hard, and that's why she will harden her heart.

She will do it so her heart won't crush inside her chest.

"Are you sure about this?" He asks one more time, not liking her idea, and still trying to convince her to run away with him.

Soo doesn't blame him. Unlike her, So doesn't know for sure that he'll manage to be king soon, and will hold his position for many years to come. Unlike her, he won't be forced to be married nor will he be used as a bait. She can understand that, but he also has to understand that there is no alternative.

"I've been serving the king this past year," she says in an attempt to ease him, "I doubt the 8th Prince would be worse."

So only shakes his head in a strong protest, and she knows this will be even harder than she thought.

"You don't know that," he argues with a desperate tone, "I always disapproved my 3rd Brother, but Wook is different," he sneers as he says the 8th Prince's name, "You never know what he's thinking, with that pretty smile of his."

That pretty smile of his was indeed a problem. Everything would have been easier if the 8th Prince wasn't so gentle and affectionate to her. If he had at least a noticeable flaw, then maybe she wouldn't have looked at him twice. If she hadn't been deceived by the façade he put on to the world, if she hadn't offered her heart to him, nor taken his hand, then maybe they wouldn't be in such a situation.

But she had followed him that night, then she promised her hand to him, then everything fell apart. However, the 8th Prince greed was not only for the throne that corrupted everyone, but for her as well. And now he got his claws on her.

She sighs in defeat, unable to do anything to revert her choices.

"This is my fault as well, forgive me."

"Your fault?" He dismisses her apology, "Aren't you another victim of the intrigues of the palace?"

"For not accepting you back then," she explains with a beaten down voice, "We wouldn't have any problems if I hadn't been so stubborn."

The 4th Prince looks down for a few seconds, and he breathes in deeply before facing her again.

"Did you say no because of Wook?" There is a bit of insecurity on his voice, the knowledge of her past relationship on top of all that has been happening to her not helping to ease down his anxiety.

"I said no for a lot more reasons. And most of them were about you."

Soo knows it's a miserable excuse, but it's the truth. And the truth is what they need now. The truth is the only thing that will help them to overcome what is about to happen.

"That doesn't make it any better."

"I just told you because I'd rather not have you doubting me while you're away." She doesn't want to fight, not now, when they are about to be separated and to be condemned to hold to such a fragile hope, "You know everything there is to know right now, so if you hear anything else, it's a lie, don't believe them."

It's most definitely not everything. There's still a secret Hae Soo keeps from the world, but it's not like someone out there knew it and was planning to use it against her.

The 4th Prince exhales and closes his eyes before giving in, his head hanging low in an exaggerated gesture.

"You too," his answer comes as a whisper, his voice cracking, "They might tell you things. You mustn't look shaken at all. No matter what it is."

He looks shaken already, but he reaches her hand and hold it tightly, so she smiles in reassurance.

"And if you see the 8th prince you can't threaten him."

He scoffs, but doesn't let go of her hand so she comes closer, her arms enlacing his neck as he complains, "That will be the hardest."

"And if he tells you something to annoy you, you have to remain calm."

He blinks at her recommendation, embracing her one last time, looking down into her eyes as she looks back to him.

"I think I'm just going to abduct you," he says after a pause and she chuckles.

"And if you think about coming to see me, don't." She buries her head in his chest, savoring his presence, and sighs with him while thinking about the distance that has already begun to grow between them.

There is sadness when they kiss. A reluctance to let go of each other, a slow and lingering sensation, burning deep down on her chest. And the touch of his lips tells her that he feels it as well.

They both hate it, but they both know that letting go now is the best choice for them to be together with no fears in the future.

"I'll definitely come back," he says with a newfound confidence and she smiles in relief.

"I know."

"If anything happens, talk to Ji Mong or Baek Ah, they help you."

"I will."

Soo stands up with him and fights the urge to grab him and make him stay as he begins to get ready to leave.

"If he just as much look at you the wrong way, hit him and come to me."

She looks up in a musing manner, but then shrugs teasingly, "I'll hit him and keep waiting."

"What am I to do with you?" He chuckles and she engraves the sound of his laugh on her memory.

Then, slowly, she allows him to pull away from her hold, from her touch. Soo watches the desolation take over his face and she knows she has a similar expression. She knows she looks like a woman who lost the world.

And that she has, but only for a while.

She lost her world, but he promised to come back for her. And he never went back on his word.

As long as she has this promise, she can keep her heart beating.

"Good luck on taking the throne," she blurts when he reaches the door and he turns around to face her.

"I'll do it," he says with a determinate smile, and she smiles as well.

"I know you will."

The 4th Prince leaves once again, and she's alone in her room.

Soon it would be morning, and the court ladies would come to prepare her for her wedding. Later, the 8th Prince would come to make her his.

She would die a thousand times before letting that happened.

* * *

 **A\N:** **I say I don't care about historical accuracy, and yet I spend almost an hour analyzing Goryeo maps to find names of locations...**

 **ririmreader:** **_I wave the SoSoo flag with all my might - but I tend to forget to tag them when I post stuff. But I'm sure this chapter answers your question. Also, sorry if you expected WookSoo. Thanks a lot for reading! :D_**


	3. THE WEDDING

**A\N: I swear I didn't intend to take a whole month to update. Actually, this chapter was written ages ago, but I couldn't ever sit down to edit and post. It's here now, though. And, hopefully, I won't take too long editing the next one.**

 **Thanks a lot for your support, and I hope you enjoy reading! :D**

* * *

Soo feels like a doll. Lifeless, motionless, emotionless. She feels like an empty shell, beautifully decorated and given to someone, never saying or doing anything. She feels like an object or a jar of flowers, which only purpose is to sit poised and complement the landscape. Just a spectacle to entertain an avid crowd, just a toy to distract an annoying child.

She hates feeling like a doll, but she takes comfort in knowing that the 8th Prince is the foolish brat in her analogy, and then she is sure she can handle the next few hours.

The court ladies come to her with the sunrise, carrying trays of make-up, jewelry, and clothing. They fuss around her, as she sits still in her chair, painting her face and pulling her hair up, dressing her in layers of fine and colorful cloth, slipping precious rings in her fingers and pins of flowers in her hairdo.

For many years she dreamed about the day of her wedding, but never had she thought that she would feel as gloomy as she does now.

The silence reigns in her room as the court ladies finish their work. And then they are gone and she's left alone to wait for the palanquin that will bring her to her new home.

That's when the procession of visitors starts to come.

.

.

.

.

First, it's the 13th Prince, with sad eyes and regretful words. He sighs miserably when he comes in, looking like he's about to carry her in his arms like a crying child.

Soo stands up to greet him, managing to break a small and polite smile as she bows elegantly, "Wangjanim."

Baek Ah can't smile, or at least not properly. So his words get tangled and then lost in his throat, as a succession of expressions cross his face and he gives up on looking calm and composed.

"I'm sorry things like this must happen," he says almost whispering, as if he's confessing a sin and doesn't believe he deserves any forgiveness.

Soo's moved by seeing him fight back his sorrow, just so she can feel better. But now he's the one needing her comfort so he doesn't blame himself for not being strong enough to stop the king.

"Don't feel sorry for things you have no control over." Her smile doesn't falter, and her eyes lone no warmth as she comes closer to him. But the 13th Prince still looks miserable.

"I'm sure my brother feels sorry too."

She falters at the mention of the 4th Prince, but manages to not let it show. It is not the time to explain things to him, nor is it time to let her emotions take hold of her. Not here. Not there. She'll have to figure how to, if she's going to explain anything to him.

But for now, she'll just stick to her playful answers, "The 8th prince does not mind it."

"I didn't mean him and you know it." Baek Ah doesn't seem to enjoy her attempt at humor, his eyes looking tired from trying to see the bright side of things.

So she decides on trying to show them to him, and just sighs, still smiling, shrugging it off like it is not a big deal.

"The 4th Prince is used to doing things he doesn't like."

"That doesn't mean it's alright."

No, it isn't. Nothing is right. Hae Soo was supposed to die that day in the bath at the Damiwon, but Go Ha Jin messed that up. Now nothing was right. Ever since her Unnie passed away things stopped being right as she got caught with the life in the palace, until Hae Soo is being once again forced to another wedding that'll only imprison her. Now Myung Hee is dead. Oh Sanggung is dead. Hyejong is dead. Eun and his wife are dead.

They are all dead, and nothing is right.

She takes a deep breath, trying not to look as desperate as she feels, because there is still someone she cares about more than herself.

"Can you remain a good friend of his, despite what's happening now?"

Baek Ah scratches the back of his neck, showing a little bit of guilty before awkwardly confessing, "Well, he's not mad at me. So I guess I can."

"Does he send you letters?" She knows she sounds too eager, but she doesn't mind. She needs a connection to him, even if it is a small one.

"All the time."

"Then I'm glad," she says truthfully, before looking down in grief, "I took him for granted, you know. And that's how I'll pay for it."

"You don't have to pay for anything."

"What about Unnie? Don't I have to pay for that?" Her words have a bitter taste, but she continues to say them, "If I had listened to you, none of this would be happening now."

"Nui wouldn't want to see you like this either."

Soo tries to smile again, but the proximity of her wedding seems to dawn on her and she starts to panic once again. The tears pool in her eyes and it takes all of her to stop them from falling down.

"You don't have to stay at the party. Leave and go to wherever he is now. See if he's all right; if he's eating and sleeping well," she requests eagerly, "Then slip away and come tell me. Please? Can you be my spy?"

Her hands go to his, as she tries to convince him to go the 4th Prince side just so she can have some peace of mind, and he just looks at her in silence for a few seconds before speaking.

"I'll stay at the ceremony to give you support, then I'll go and spy on him for you." He puts a reassuring hand on her shoulder, managing to comfort her with his promise and his presence, "Don't worry about So-hyungnim, though. I'm sure he's fine. You should be thinking about you."

"I am. Actually, I spent the night thinking about me." That's only a half truth, but he doesn't need to know that just yet, "Now that I'm going to marry the 8th Prince, I just want to spend every minute thinking about him."

"I can't say anything against that," his smile looks sincere for the first time ever since he walked in, "I'll come to visit you often at your new home."

And because Hae Soo is truly grateful to this man who is like a brother for her, she doesn't feel embarrassed or improper when she hugs him tightly.

"Thank you," Soo says before pulling away and grinning among her tears, "For being a good friend."

"It's only because you're a good friend as well."

The 13th Prince smiles to her one last time before leaving, taking with him the last bit of warmth, her last tear, and her hope to reach the 4th Prince during the years they would be apart.

.

.

.

.

Then it's the Princess Yeon Hwa, with bitter eyes and hostile words. She walks in snobbish, inspecting her from her head to her feet and her wedding clothes, then she looks away before speaking.

"So you finally got what you wanted."

Hae Soo resists once again the urge to clench her fists and fights to remain unfazed by the unnerving presence of the princess, as she answers in a polite and detached manner.

"I assure you I did not, Gongjunim."

"You'll be free from the palace," the woman says while striding back and forth on her room, "You'll have a better status and a husband of high birth and position."

Her reasoning doesn't surprise Soo even one bit. For the other woman gaining power and an advantageous marriage were the ultimate goals in life, and that all the other things in life were superfluous. Yeon Hwa probably also believed that the same applied to everyone else, and seeing Soo decline her proposal to find a powerful husband in exchange of her leaving the 4th Prince must have really hurt her royal pride.

Soo wouldn't blame her for following the way things worked in the powerful clans of Goryeo, if only she didn't belittle those under her, and weren't willing to sacrifice everything and anything to achieve it. So she doesn't bother to sounding polite and indifferent anymore.

"That does not mean anything to mean if I can't have the heart I want."

Her words seem to entertain the Princess, as she chuckles like a snake and walks closer, looking at her patronizingly, putting on a fake expression of pity as she speaks.

"It's too bad he abandoned you," she doesn't need to say who, they both who _he_ is, and Soo tries not to flinch at the mention of the 4th Prince, "You two quite fit."

"He abandoned both of us," Soo's voice doesn't falter as she shrugs and smiles serenely, but her nails dig into her skin, "I suppose your plan to use the fact that I hid the 10th Prince in the Damiwon to separate us backfired. Apparently, it also pushed him away from you."

The mocking smile disappears from the Princess fade, and Hae Soo's only grows bigger, as she feels satisfied for her small victory, even if it doesn't change anything about her current situation.

Yeon Hwa walks away to the other side of her small room once again, and resumes her stride around the confining chamber.

"We'll be sisters-in-law very soon," she tries to put Soo down one more time, but she won't let her have her way again.

"I'm sure you're disappointed," Soo breaks her hostile monologue before it starts and she's more unnerved by her distasteful presence, her bluntness apparently shocking her visitor, as she stops in the middle of the short stroll, "As you thought you had gotten rid of me."

The Princess just stares at her for a few seconds, before she decides to be blunt and ruthless as well.

"There are many ways to get rid of someone," Yeon Hwa's eyes narrow and her voice seems to grow even colder, "Unlike Myung Hee-Anne, you're not necessary in our household. And if you fail to fulfill your duty as a wife, I'll be the least of your worries."

Ever since she arrived at the palace, Go Ha Jin had finally understood what life was like for the people in Goryeo. She tried to remain bright and optimistic, but Hae Soo had to learn the hard way what it meant to fight for survival.

She was imprisoned, tortured, sentenced to death and absolved. She gained knowledge and recognition, but lost her freedom. She was used as a tool and as a pawn to secure the position of those above her. She met death more times in the few years she lived in Goryeo than in the decades she spent in the 21st Century, and it terrified her.

She lost more people than she ever thought to be possible, and all of them were because of the greed and machinations in the palace.

Hae Soo no longer trusts anyone, nor does she give the benefit of doubt that everyone in the palace was a person. She has way too much fear and apprehension to do that. Her shoulders weigh down as her insecurities grow into worries. She takes every step with the utmost care in the world.

But there's no way she'll let Princess Yeon Hwa have any control over her. Not now, when she's about to enter her household with no expectations of when she's coming out. So she laughs out loud, letting her head fall back slightly and her eyes glint with mirth.

"Please, Gongjunim," Soo speaks gleefully, "I'm still a suspect for poisoning the late king. Nothing you or your clan can say or do will be worse than that."

The Princess sneers and leaves without saying any other word, taking with her the last feeling of safety, her last shiver, and her vow to never stoop low to the same level of the snakes hiding behind masks in court.

.

.

.

.

After Yeon Hwa leaves, the Astronomer Choi Ji Mong comes, with blank eyes and no words at all.

He comes in silence, watches her from the corner of her room, but she doesn't say anything to him. Soo only guesses what he might be thinking, and what he might know, as he looks at her with grief. There's a twinge of hopelessness in his eyes, as if he wishes he could do something, but can only watch passively as the events unfold.

Ha Jin never cared much about studying history, so she's not sure who the 8th Prince should be married with. A part of her fears this is how she'll ruin everything after changing the past. The other part, however, has no worry about history, and just wishes none of this was happening.

But Choi Ji Mong offers no solace, no reassurance, only silence. And she doesn't blame him. In Goryeo there were never easy answers.

The Astronomer bows softly before leaving, taking with him the last bit of hope to change things, her last chance, and her conviction to save and protect everyone from certain death.

And when he leaves, she feels like crying again.

.

.

.

.

The last to come is the 14th Prince, but he doesn't look at her properly, and keeps walking around her room, emanating anxiousness.

He looks troubled and angry at the same time, and she wonders how she never noticed how much he looked like the 4th Prince, especially when he had that expression on his face. But it's not the best moment to think about such things, so Soo tries not to think about anything at all, at least not until he pulls himself together enough to be able to hold a proper conversation.

First, he looks at her. Then he tries to smile. When he fails, he takes a deep breath and looks down to his feet, trying to regain control of his words. A couple of seconds later, he looks back at her, staring deep into her eyes, and he finally can speak again.

"You look beautiful, Soo-yah." There's no smile, but there is warmth in his voice and his expression, so Soo smiles for both of them.

"Thank you, Wangjanim." And she is grateful. She is grateful that he came to see her before the ceremony, and she is grateful to have his support, even though he, just like her and the 13th Prince, can't do anything.

At her words and her smile, however, he winces and looks away once again.

"I'm sorry," he says in a low voice, surprising her, "That's not what you want to listen right now."

Her smile falters, but does not disappear completely.

"In this place what I want doesn't matter," she replies carefully, shrugging in defeat, "But I'll survive. Don't worry, I'm glad I look beautiful, even if it is a gloomy day for me."

Soo smiles brightly once again, and her words seem to spread to Jung, as he turns his eyes back to her, looking slightly relieved.

She's about to make a cheerful comment on his regal appearance today, so contrasting to his customary armor and practice clothes, when he decides to surprise her and leave her lost for words.

"I should have asked to marry you."

Her eyes bulge slightly when he resumes to look back at his feet, "What?"

"Pyeha offered me a gift, trying to make me ignore his and mother's sins. Anything I wanted. I thought about asking permission to marry you," he trails off, as if wondering if he should give a long or a short explanation, and then deciding to be succinct, "But in the end, I decided against it. I thought I was being reasonable by refusing his offer. I regret it now."

Soo remembers when they became friends and he swore that her life would become his. Then she remembers when he confessed in the Damiwon storage room, and promised to protect her.

It would have been so much better to marry him, even unwillingly. At least she would feel safe if she went to his house. It would also be easier to divorce him after the 4th Prince took the throne, even though she would end up breaking his heart.

Soo didn't fear losing him, though. The 14th Prince would be her friend through everything, and even risk himself for her, so she doesn't have harsh feelings towards him – towards none of them – for the way things turned out to be. She only smiles and hopes they don't get sick of worry for her.

"Don't be like that, Wangjanim."

"Indeed, it is too late to keep thinking about the past, when we only have the present and future," Jung perks up with bravery, trying to look strong for her, and she doesn't mention his shaking hands, "So I'll only ask you this once. Do you trust my 8th brother? Do you think you can be happy with him?"

A long time ago, a child had asked herself the same question and concluded that, yes, she could.

But Hae Soo is no longer a child, and the 8th Prince wasn't who she thought he was. So she sighs, because she was fool enough once to be deceived by a mask, she raised her hand and was dragged into a fantasy, easily shattered by the gritty reality.

Hae Soo is no longer a child, and neither is the 14th Prince, so she doesn't hide reality from him.

"Once I did, but not anymore."

"That's right," the 14th scoffs, with no humor as he mutters, "Now you only have eyes for So-hyungnim, right?"

Soo smiles when he is mentioned, but that's not enough to conceal the tears coming up to her eyes, "He won't even talk to me anymore."

It's not because he doesn't want to, Soo knows now. But it's still painful. Maybe if they never broke up, the King wouldn't be giving her away so easily like now, but there's no way she can know for sure.

He won't talk to her because he can't, for the sake of everyone's safety.

And for the sake of them, she will pretend he never came and that she's being torn apart from the inside. Even if it bothers the 14th Prince.

"That's not fair with you," he mumbles, looking angry with his brother, as if he's the sole one to blame, "It wasn't your fault."

"It was. And I can understand him a little bit." That's not a lie. She can. If he never came last night, and gave her some peace of mind, she wouldn't blame him. She can understand him, even if Jung can't, "Forgive me, I know you don't like talking about him."

"We are not on good terms, but this is not about me and him, it's about you," He moves away, resuming his pace around her room, "I thought he would at least come to protect you. How could he forget you so quickly?"

She looks down to her intertwined fingers, and speaks in her most neutral and impersonal tone.

"He had to. That's the only way to let go," He didn't. We're just trying to deceive everyone else, "You should too."

"What?"

"Forget me too, Wangjanim. I know you respect the 8th prince, but he's not who he used to be. Now I'm being used as a tool by him and the king. It is better if you stay out of all of this," She looks straight at him, noticing he stopped right in front of her, and smiles, despite her hurting words, "Let me go quickly, just like you take off a curative, otherwise it will be painful for you."

Her eyes glint and Jung is petrified. He looks mystified by her words, her direct request to just ignore her situation and abandon her; to forget her entirely so he doesn't get dragged into the mess her life has become.

But then he blinks, kneels down so he's at her eye level and smiles.

"I won't let you go," he says so softly is almost like an oath, "I'll become stronger so I can protect you better."

That keen determination of his also reminds her of the 4th Prince, but she does not think of So right now. She thinks about her little brother and how Jung has grown so much ever since she jumped in to save him from thugs.

Just like in the past, he refuses the easy way out. But unlike his immature youth, now he seems to think before jumping into action.

Hae Soo is a lost case. There's no way the 14th Prince could ever save her from being married to the 8th Prince, and there's no way he'll manage to convince the King to absolve her from the late king's death. He loves her deeply, but is aware and certain that she'll never return his feelings; his brother will always be chosen over him.

She feels thankful for her allies, although they are powerless. And his loyalty is so moving that she almost cries.

Almost.

"That part of you," she whispers, beaming up at another great friend she managed to keep in Goryeo, "Please, never change."

.

.

.

.

Hae Soo is a gorgeous and gracious bride.

She strides into the ceremony like an ethereal being, her colorful clothes contrasting beautifully with her milky skin, and her face and her hair seem to shine with the sunlight. Her posture is elegant, just like a princess' or a queen's. Her expression serene and peaceful, her complexion a sober façade of dignity and uprightness.

She doesn't even look like a lamb walking to the slaughter.

There are guests, but they pass like a blur to her, as the rituals are completed. They are a swarm of colors and ornaments, a crowd of expecting eyes, eager to assess her weaknesses so they can better prey on the new wife of the 8th Prince. Soo just keeps looking straight ahead, never losing her composure, not even for a second.

Not even when the 8th Prince takes her hand after the priest stops speaking, and leads her to a large table, where they sit.

Not even when his family comes to greet them.

Not even when those rapine birds fly down closer to her, their covetous eyes trying to see her mind and her soul.

She manages to break a small and polite smile, the one she was taught to always use when talking to the royals and distinguished ministers. The one who carries no warmth or joy, but it is enough to guarantee no unnecessary gossip and groundless rumor, according to etiquette.

The smile keeps on plastered on her face as guests come and go, the bow to thank for their presence and their gift becomes a mechanical and mindless reflex, and before she knows it the sun has gone down and all of their guests wave goodbye warmly to the newlyweds.

This place is a circus, and now she's trapped in there.

.

.

.

.

"You don't have to be so stiff," the 8th Prince tells her softly, as he continues to eat their first meal, sitting in front of her at the small table.

Soo doesn't eat anything, nor does she look at him. She doesn't answer him either, and she hears him sighing in frustration at her silent posture. She gracefully ignores his presence and keeps looking down to the table, studying the cracks in the wood with the utmost attention.

"Aren't you hungry? You didn't eat anything the entire day."

His second attempt to start a conversation is swiftly evaded as well, and her barricaded walls show no sign of tumbling apart. Her static body frozen almost like a statue, thanks to all the years of training in the Damiwon.

She remains stiff, and she remains hungry. But she refuses to move or even acknowledge him.

Wook's eyes are set on her, she can feel it. He stares down at her intensely, his piercing gaze trying to reach her and make her talk, make her move, make her eat, coax her out of her shell and finally touch her.

His hand covers hers, and she finally moves, only to push it away and hide her hands from view. Her expression unaltered.

"I took you out of the palace. Won't you even say thank you?"

That's the last thing in the world she wants to say to him, but she keeps her well chosen cusses to herself. Even though she's a servant given away, she's a high born former court lady.

Her job as a court lady was to be a quiet shadow, and she would remain so, even as a wife.

The rest of his meal is spent in silence. Her gaze still locked in a dark spot in the table, just beside her hand. Her ears remain attentive, her guard up, listening to every single movement he makes in his chair, ready for anything he might try with her. For a second she wonders if that's how they'll be for the rest of the night, until he sighs once more in frustration and finally moves away from the table and towards her.

The 8th Prince seems to be out of patience, as he yanks her chair around so she's looking directly at him.

Soo wishes she could slap him. That, or spit in his face. Her anger, is greater than the day the king announced their betrothal, her fear is now eclipsed by the repulsion of his sickeningly sweet smile.

The same smile that once sent shivers down her spine, and made butterflies fly in her stomach.

"Don't you remember how happy we were?" He whispers in a loving gaze, and it stings her ears, especially because it reminds her of how foolish she was.

Her gaze moves to the open hand he stretches out in front of her. The jade bracelet with the red string looks the same as it did years ago, when she left it in her old room at the Damiwon, before she went for the Gyobang.

That voice and that bracelet also unsettled the butterflies once. But now the butterflies are dead.

"I remember I was always crying or hiding. And waiting. And waiting once again," she says in a hard voice, looking at the jewel in his hand one last time before meeting his soft gaze with her pointed glare, "I remember walking to the gallows, sure I was going to die, and still waiting for you to see me. I remember the cold rain and the pain in my knees when I watched you leave me behind."

Soo would continue to say more things she remembered, but the 8th Prince stands up abruptly, his soft and loving touch finally leaving and she breathes out in relief.

"It's not like I wanted any of that to happen," he argues pitifully and she scoffs lightly.

"You certainly did nothing to prevent it from happening either."

"There was nothing I could do!"

He shouts, starting to throw a tantrum, and she resists the temptation to roll her eyes at his exclamation. Soo's eyes harden even more as she retorts.

"I also remember asking you to leave with me, and how you were too greedy to even take my feelings into consideration."

"I told you why we couldn't," Wook says harshly as if his argument is the absolute truth and she's blind for not seeing how his logic is perfect and unflawed, "If I don't have the ultimate power, then we'll suffer and face hardships."

"Then why did you marry me while your third brother sits on the throne?"

The 8th Prince doesn't answer. He has no more arguments to present before her, so the silence fills up the room again. There is only the icy stare of hers and the pleading gaze of his and they remain standing still in the candle lit room.

Soo doesn't believe he would be able to do a selfless action to save his life. He would always satisfy his own needs and desires, then pretend it was all to protect or help someone else, so he could keep on the good prince act.

"Whatever I did wrong doesn't matter now," Wook sighs and says as if it makes everything right again, closing his eyes to their reality, lying to himself one more time, "I promised I would take you out of the palace, and I did. I promised I would marry you, and I did. I promised I would protect you, so now you won't have to worry with the King threatening to kill every single second, like you would if remained in the Damiwon. I brought you back to me, and now you're mine, just like I said you would be."

Wook's hand takes hers once more, pulling her towards him and dragging her to the bed covered with red sheets. Hae Soo freezes, and lets the polite mask of the Sanggung fall, shrieking as she yanks her arm free.

"What? Will you also force me to lay with you?"

"Force you?" he looks at her as if she's the one being irrational, "We are married now, these things are common."

"Yes, they are. But I do not wish to do it," she retorts, she spits back at him, "So, will you force me? You already got my hand without my consent. Will you make me despise you even more?"

"I do not have to," he walks back to her, placing his hands on her shoulders, "Now that you are my wife you will soon come back to your senses and your true feelings will return."

"I'm not your wife," she shakes his hands off bitterly, "I'm your prize."

"Name it as you want," Wook disregards her argument, holding her wrists tightly so she can't escape, "You'll fulfill your duty tonight."

"Very well, if that's what you wish," she takes a deep breath and gives in, walking closer to him, her eyes glaring firmly into his, "But every time you touch me, I'll imagine that you're someone else. Every time you kiss me, I'll picture the lips of another man. And when you're inside me, I'll close my eyes, and call out his name. If you're alright with that, then…"

He doesn't let her finish. Before she can touch him, he lets go of her abruptly, harshly, pushing her away and almost knocking her down on the floor. Wook jumps out of the room, leaving her alone. He closes up and rises his walls so she can't hurt him.

A few minutes after he's gone, and she's sure he's not going to return anymore, she allows herself to release the tension that has been holding her shoulders up ever since she left the Damiwon and walked to the wedding ceremony. She allows herself one moment of relief, so she can inhale as much air as possible, before diving in the dark waters once again.

Soo allows herself to look weak and tired, to feel scared and lost. She makes one last greedy wish, and pictures where would she be if she had left with the 4th Prince the night before, thinking about all the happy possibilities.

She breathes in. She breathes out.

And then the game of waiting begins.

* * *

 **A\N: aaaaand I can't believe I just wrote Soo marrying Wook. I just can't. I'm sure some of you hopped for her to get rid of him. So did I. But wasn't that last line to him worth it? Time to confess, that line was what first gave birth to the plot when I was trying to sleep at 2AM.**

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 **Guest #1: _Sorry for the long wait! But I'll try to be faster..._**

 ** _._**

 **ririmreader: _Yay! One more SoSoo - I know most people are, but still... And as you don't mind THE ANGST I'll try to add on some more on following chapters! (I was using the app, and I don't know how I marked it as complete, but couldn't change it back. Hopefully it's all set now.) THANKS A LOT!_**

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 **Vero Diaz: _Not sure what you mean. About what?_**

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 **Guest #2: _Hae Soo is a highly shippable character. I just fell in love with So first, so I can't have her with anyone else. And yes, I've read - or at least started to - read a few YoSoo, and while they are great, I can never survive when I think about my poor wolf child (but who doesn't love Hong Jong Hyun?) Thanks a lot for reading!_**


	4. THE TRIAL

**Hey, can we pretend that I didn't just evaporate for months since the last chapter?**

 **My sincerest apologies for those who have been waiting, but I just couldn't find the time to properly finish this chapter. Especially because I sort of reorganized the plot, and said chapter has to be rewritten twice. Yes, twice.**

 **I'm a slow writer by nature, but whenever I sit down to work on this fanfic I force myself to be perfect - or, at least, almost perfect - and I just couldn't be these past months. I couldn't get in the mood of the characters and I cringed in so many parts that I had to cut out almost half of my initial paragraphs. Also, I got two colds that lasted fore more than a month - each - and let's just say that writing wasn't a priority for while.**

 **Reviewing is also a long process for me , since I always finish with like 200 words in Portuguese that I didn't know how to say in English, and 100 words in English that I'm not sure about the meaning. What I'm trying to say is that this chapter has been written for two weeks, but research delayed it until now, and there's still a high risk of you finding a grammar/orthographic mistake, or a word in Portuguese that escaped Word revision.**

 **Now that I've made my excuses, I really hope you'll enjoy this new chapter - if there are still people reading Moon Lovers fanfics, that is. And don't fret, I'm not gonna vanish forever and leave this story incomplete. No matter what, I always come back until it is finished.**

 **Thanks a lot for reading! :D**

* * *

On her wedding night, Hae Soo doesn't sleep.

After the 8th Prince – now, her husband – leaves the room, she just sits on the floor, on the same spot he pushed her to before dashing away, and waits until morning comes.

She doesn't even dare to look to the bed behind her – his bed, she won't touch it or even come near it – and just waits for her racked nerves calm down slowly. And after that, she only watches the candles burn down gradually, until the room starts to fill up with sunlight.

When the Sun rises, so does she, leaving the cold floor to sit back on the table - the same spot and the same position she was when she waited for her husband to finish their first meal - just a few instants before the doors open and the servants come in.

They don't ask questions, and make no comments. These are the same servants she knew when she lived there, and yet, they only bow and greet her – 'buin' they say, instead of the 'agassi' from the old days – before silently placing the trays of food before her and leaving as faintly as they arrived.

Soo wanted to maintain her abstinence of food as a form of protest. But with the 8th Prince absent, with her stomach empty ever since the previous morning, and with no idea whatsoever of when she would leave the new home, she starts to swallow down the food. She doesn't bother about the taste; she can't feel anything other than the texture of the food on her mouth.

However, after only a few bites, she realizes that the trays are filled with her favorite dishes. Or at least, her favorite dishes from the time before she became a court lady and entered the Damiwon. More exactly, the expensive foods she loved before she was cast away by her clan and became a servant of the King.

They are all there now. And when she realizes that, Soo also notices that the dinnerware is an old one. A set of white porcelain with pink flowers, the stems painted with golden lines. She remembers seeing those bowls and cups only once, a long time ago. She remembers one specific afternoon, when she was having tea with her Unnie and started gushing over the delicate pattern painted on the elegant cups. The 8th Prince had arrived in time to see part of her excited speech, and told her afterwards that he would gift the whole set to her.

Hae Soo is no longer hungry.

The memory of that day with Hae Myung Hee not only reminds her of how naïve she used to be, it also makes her feel guilty. It makes her wonder if her cousin's life would be any different had she not traveled back in time, or if the 8th Prince would also be apathetic towards her until it was too late for his love to be able to do anything.

She pushes her bowl of rice away and puts her chopsticks down, leans back into the chair as she closes her eyes and sighs.

Hae Soo misses her Unnie badly, but part of her is glad and relieved that she doesn't have to see what the man she loved had become. That she's not there to witness how she's being treated now.

After a while the servants return to collect her still full plates, carrying the trays with low heads as they also bring in a new set of clothes and head ornaments. And Hae Soo remembers how much you hated to get helped in changing clothes.

Still, she resigns and submits herself to the long, tiresome and dull activity of being rolled up and wrapped in endless layers of cloth, then having her hair pulled, pushed and pinned tightly in her scalp.

She stares at the mirror apathetically, finding odd the contrast of her new bright pink and turquoise with the previous red outfit of her wedding, and also with the pale and much more simple clothes she wore as a court lady and a water maid. A second later she realizes that those are the colors she used to wear before she first entered the palace.

It seems that her taste in clothes changed as well.

She feels weird, her arms and her head heavy, as the girls step back and bow quietly before leaving, hushed steps as they carry her wedding outfit and her unfinished meal out.

An older woman, that Soo remembers once helping out her Unnie, comes in, then. She doesn't have the same sheepish posture as the other girls, and she doesn't hesitate to look her in the eye. But still, she bows submissively, before speaking with a polite and stable voice.

"Please, buin. Allow me to accompany you to your new chambers."

Hae Soo nods and walks out after the servant. She's desperate to leave, at least that room, even if she knows she's only going from one cage to another. A shadow leaves her heart when she breathes in the fresh air of the morning, but she still feels the 8th Prince clutches around her.

But then the shadow return as the woman guides her down a path she's already familiar with. She still remembers those hallways and that courtyard very well; she used to walk by those same stairs whenever she went to see her Unnie.

And when they walk into the room of the late mistress, her heart is bitter.

There are a few new servants in there, who bow and greet her, ask her if she needs anything, and bow once again when she dismisses them. They carry chests of clothes and jewelry inside, opening them and organizing the items on the shelves and on the stands, displaying them for her to choose a set for the day, but Soo doesn't take a long look at them, opting for sitting alone at her new table.

The servants don't seem to find anything odd about her coming in and living there. By their faces, Soo could even think that they might not even know who was the woman who lived there, and how she was related to the new resident. They are too busy with their tasks, with keeping their heads low and their eyes down. As a former servant herself, she understands and doesn't hold it against them. For lower ranked girls, it is better not to be too curious, not to be too involved. It saves trouble and their lives.

She doesn't try to start an exchange with them, not even a small talk. She only watches in silence as they finish their duties, bow, and scatter away like scared cats.

And then Hae Soo is all alone again.

It seems like this will be happening more often from then onwards.

Fortunately, she's used to sitting in a stiff chair all day, so she leans back and lets her mind drift away to somewhere else.

More specifically, to the 4th Prince.

He wouldn't be able to send her any letters or messages while she lived there. Even if he had the means, he wouldn't dare to drag the king's attention to her even more. And, due to her status of a married woman, exchanging correspondence with another man wouldn't end well for her. Moreover, he had to remain out of any sort of suspicion from his brother, since his ultimate goal was to take him under and rise to the throne.

She didn't even know if he had arrived to Seokyeong safely.

And, although she had asked the 13th Prince to check on him for her, she wouldn't receive any actual word from him until he took the throne.

It would take years for that to happen, although Go Hajin never remembered how long Jeongjong's rule lasted and when exactly Gwangjong ascended to power. She didn't even know if she would be alive by then.

A dreadful shadow looms over her when that thought crosses over her mind.

Just how long would she have to endure being the 8th Prince's wife? How long could she keep up with it? How many days could she take sitting idly like that? How many years would her waiting be?

She wants to cry again, as her longing starts to ache, but her eyes remain dry. She comforts herself with the memory of the last time she saw him and takes comfort in his promise that he would come back for her.

Hae Soo could wait her entire life for him.

And wait she would.

.

.

.

.

She only notices that it's afternoon when the servants bring in her lunch.

She sits down idly and bites the food slowly and reluctantly. She wouldn't have even eaten the food, but then she pictured the reproving gaze of the 4th Prince if he found out she had not taken proper care of herself, so she started to swallow down her meal, not really tasting its flavor.

Her eyes are drowsy when her bowl of rice is finally empty, the sleepless night and heavy stomach making her body beg for a nap, no matter how short it is, as her guard begins to tumble.

 _What would happen to her if she fell asleep?_

 _What would he do to her?_

She's fighting to keep her eyes open as the servants take back the dishes, when one of the women steps forward and speaks out to her with a bow.

"Buin, we have new ingredients to make soap. Would you like to see them?"

Soo's not familiar with this one, although she looks older than the ones that came in earlier - a quick glance around the room reveals that she's not the only one -, but that's not what puzzles her.

"Soap?" Her voice cracks a bit when she inquires in confusion, and that's when she realizes that this is the first time she speaks ever since the 8th Prince left last night.

"Yes, Buin," the servant clarifies, not minding her lady's obviously morose state, "Wangjanim asked for them yesterday, since Buin likes to make them very much."

Hae Soo blinks perplexed for a couple of seconds, so surprised that he would even remember all the ingredients she used in the past, especially when it has been years since they had parted their ways. She feels uncomfortable and opens her mouth to decline the servant's offer, that she's fine like she is and that she will spend the day in her chambers, but ends up deciding against it.

She nods and asks for the woman to lead the way.

After all, the chances of her falling asleep while making soap are next to none; despite feeling unease with her husband's gift, it is better to make some use of her free time (which now seems to be a lot) than to sit all day wondering about depressing scenarios.

And besides, it was only soap. When he saw that the gesture meant didn't sway her in the slightest, he would sure stop with the advances and would finally leave her alone.

.

.

.

.

He didn't leave her alone.

Throughout the first day of their married life, though, she actually thought he would.

As Soo spent the afternoon working on her new blocks of soap (she only makes mint ones, the 4th Prince's favorite, instead of the cedarwood one she made for the 8th Prince back then) she feels a bit calmer and a lot more invigorated and concentrated.

She feels like she's being watched from time to time, but whenever she looks up, she only sees the servants passing by, and the Princess Yeon Hwa staring from a distance a couple of times. She never mistakes her gaze: cold, fierce and penetrating like a knife, as the other woman doesn't even bother to hide her hatred and her discontent with having her in the same household. But she can handle that. She had experience in handling nasty looks from arrogant nobles.

And after all, Yeon Hwa could not touch her anymore.

Now, technically speaking, the princess would have to bow to greet her.

Now, technically speaking, Soo has a bigger standing than the princess, and that alone is enough to give her a sense of security, even though it's faint. That's why she doesn't worry much during the day. And when the night falls and her eyelids blink heavy, she feels calmer enough to go back to the room and rest a little.

"Put these on the fire, I'll check them tomorrow," she says to the woman who led her outside earlier, and clearly the one in charge of the younger servants. She doesn't look at them, and just turns around, going back to her designated room.

She just wants to crash down on her new bed and try to fall asleep at last.

The candles are all lit when she comes in, brightening the room with a golden light. Soo's used to sleep in the darkness now, so she finds the flames annoying more than comforting.

The 8th Prince, most likely, was the one who sent the orders to keep her room illuminated, as she still remembers

Something falls from the scroll when she rolls it open, but she ignores. She's too focused on the message itself, curious to see if it's from Baek Ah, if he's arrived at Seokyeong, if he's got in contact with the 4th Prince at all. Or it could be from Chae Ryung, giving her a report from the palace and the Damiwon, now that she's no longer Sanggung. It could even be from the 14th Prince that she would be glad. She has been craving for someone she trusts by her side.

But when she puts the letter to the light and finally reads the characters, her blood freezes cold in her veins.

 _"Green. O green is the willow"_

Her gaze averts from the letter as soon as the first familiar line is registered, and it flies to her bed, where the object inside the scroll fell to. It shouldn't surprise her. It really shouldn't. And yet, Hae Soo's breath is trapped inside her chest, as she can't move her eyes from the green jade of the bracelet, that contrasts vividly against the red sheets.

.

.

.

.

He smiles when she comes in, his face lightens up and he puts his brush away to greet her, "You came here."

"Don't bother standing up," Soo raises a hand firmly, and her gaze is enough to freeze him on his chair, and when he leans back, she feels safe enough to continue, "Actually, don't bother doing anything at all. Stop buying me things and sending me gifts. And stop coming into my room. Stop all of this," she says as she raises a hand, holding the crinkled piece of paper and the jade bracelet she found earlier in her room.

The smile doesn't leave his face, much to her displeasure. On the other hand, it only grows more satisfied.

"I'm your husband now," he says, and it irks her on the inside, the title making her nauseous, "I'm required to take care of you and provide for your needs..."

"No, you aren't," she interrupts him, already tired of listening to him, "Remember, Wangjanim, this marriage is in name only. You won't gain my affection through such acts."

Her reminder is to put an end to the conversation, but it clearly misses the target and he gets it all wrong, as his eyes lighten up and he asks with an earnest voice, "How would I do it, then? Tell me, I'll do anything."

Go Hajin had dealt with awful people in the 21st Century. Hae Soo had been bullied by the musuri and the nobles in the Damiwon. She knew very well by now how obnoxious people could be, and how clueless were the self-centered ones. She had even seen a few of them in the dramas she used to watch with her mom.

And yet, none of them had ever been as unreasonable as the man before her now.

"It seems like I wasn't clear enough last night," she speaks slowly and punctually, trying to paint their current scenario in a way that the man can understand, "Wangjanim, you completely lost my trust years ago; my infatuation with you soon followed it. Perhaps I could still hold some tolerance for your presence if you hadn't forced my hand in marriage."

She pauses, just to recheck her words, to make sure she didn't leave any loose ends, didn't say anything that he could possibly misunderstand or distort to his own beliefs, and then she continues "It's too late for you now."

Soo knows it was all fruitless and pointless when he shakes his head slowly, the smile gone but his features still holding that satisfied glow and pleased expression that makes her want to slap it off his face at the same time that compels her to run away as fast as she can. Or even do both, as her skin crawls when he speaks with longing.

"I can erase the past. I can make those days you wished for come back," he stands up slowly and speaks with care, as if she's the one who doesn't understand their situation, "It will be like all of that never happened, and things will be like they should."

"Except that I don't want that. I don't want you. Have you ever considered that?"

"I know you still love me, Soo-yah," the unthinkable leaves his mouth and leaves her baffled, speechless, unable to interrupt him so he continues, "Deep down in your heart I know there's a piece of me left. I just have to work hard, and then I'll be the only one in your heart again."

At first, she wants to laugh.

The absurdity is so extreme that she actually thinks, for a second, that he's joking. He must be. There's no way a sane person would make such an assumption. And the 8th Prince, although a selfish and unscrupulous man, shouldn't be insane to that point.

But then, she wants to cry.

Because, yes, he's insane. He's a creep that holds no memory of decency and common sense. He convinced himself that leaving her behind years ago was the right thing to do, and now he's sure that marrying her against her will was the best call.

To think that such man now basically owns her, according to Goryeo's law, makes her want to throw up. She has no power nor resources to divorce him. She has no means to outrun and escape his clutches. Whenever she went to, he would find her. And if he didn't, then his insane king would, and she would be done for.

She thought Wang Wook would leave her alone after their wedding night, but it turns out that he's obsessed with her. And he's so caught up in the little fantasy he created after marrying her, that he won't stop courting her, entering her bedroom to leave gifts, following her around the residence. She now has her personal stalker, and he's her husband.

Hae Soo feels her anger and her fear collide and ricochet inside her chest.

"You'll never have my heart."

"But that doesn't change the fact that I won't let you go," he says as he walks around his desk and goes to her.

"Don't come near me," she mutters drily, taking a couple steps back, until he stops moving. Then she speaks through clenched teeth, spitting out her words, "What I feel for you now is nothing but disgust. What I want from you is nothing but distance. I would have never stepped in this house again if it weren't for my lack of power, and I wouldn't even be in this room right now if it weren't for your crossing the line."

He opens his mouth, most likely to say some other absurd about how they are in love and she shouldn't be pushing him away, but she doesn't let him, and continues to speak, "This is a game for you, Wangjanim, and you think I'm bluffing. This is a matter of life and death for me, and I'm already dying. Even if you don't let go, I already did, and you can't mend a broken bond nor cross a burnt bridge," she crunches tightly the paper in her hands as she speaks, and then tears it apart at once, before letting the pieces, along with the bracelet, fall to the floor.

"Do whatever you want, Wangjanim," Soo says, walking backwards, increasing the distance between them, "I won't come to you. I won't find you in the middle."

She flees before she loses her sanity herself.

.

.

.

.

After she storms out of his study, she doesn't go back to Myung Hee's room.

During the entire time she had been in there, Hae Soo had controlled her anger, had subdued her rage, and spoken with the same distant tone she used to give orders in the Damiwon.

She wouldn't let him see her anger, lest he got any other weird ideas on his mind, finding a way to classify her urge to smack his face as a sign that her heart was still longing for him. Her fear also helped her to keep the boiling feeling at bay, her suffocating chest reminded her constantly not to act too rashly. But the second she steps out, finally breathing fresh air and free from his ominous presence, she feels her blood boiling, despite the cold air on the outside.

She feels her hand itching to hit something and tear out her hair, her lungs desperate to scream as her feet stomp the floor.

She wants to break something, to hurt something, yell at something. She wants to do something, but just like in the palace, she has her hands tied. She couldn't save Wang Mu from dying nor could she help Wang Eun to escape. She couldn't prevent the King's decree; she couldn't protect herself. Hae Soo didn't just live as if walking on thin ice, she was the ice herself - apparently steady and strong, pale and concealer - but on the verge of breaking and collapsing. And that's why, despite knowing it's not her fault, it's not her mistake, part of her anger is also directed to herself.

Part of her anger - a major part, at that - is directed to all the promises she ever made and accepted, to all the time she invested and wasted on him.

She wants to hit and scream at her.

Soo grits her teeth and clenches her fist, bites her tongue and huffs in frustration.

Yes, Wang Wook is insane and she's mad at him. But she wouldn't be trapped there if she hadn't taken his hand first. She wouldn't be trapped there if she hadn't accepted his poem. She wouldn't be there if she hadn't made a soap for him. She wouldn't be there if she hadn't trusted and confided in him so much.

She wouldn't be there if she didn't fall for him.

 _I wouldn't be here if I didn't fall for cheating bastard._

"Hajin-ah! You have a terrible eye for men!" She chides at herself and a sardonic laugh starts to form deep in her chest when she remembers her ex-boyfriend from the 21st Century, and it grows louder and louder until she finally blows up, "Why do you never learn?!" She shouts and kicks the closest thing to her, which turns out to be a pile of praying rocks.

Her foot protests in pain, but she ignores it. She doesn't mind it. A sprained ankle is nothing in the whole spectrum of problems she got stuck with. And plus, if the injury is serious, she'll be able to avoid the Hwangbo family, and stay confined to the walls of her room.

Soo kicks the pile of stones harder, hoping to increase the damage, hoping that it will hurt more than her heart and her head right now, hoping that it will give her something else to hold on to. But after the top of the pile of praying stones tumbles down and the silence settles down around her, the pain is gone.

Her anger, however, only grows higher when she remembers how that praying tower came up to exist in the first place, and how grateful she felt the last time she had seen it.

It was the last praying tower Myung Hee built for her youngest cousin, an orphan girl that she took in as her daughter. The same one Hae Soo used to speak with a mother she had recently, but long lost. It was also where she first admitted her attraction to a man she shouldn't have set her eyes on.

"You're disgusting, Hae Soo-yah! You're the worst!" she mutters to herself and kicks the base of the praying tower, spreading more rocks and more stones around, "How could you? How could you?"

Hae Soo didn't deserve those prayers and those stones. She was a fool who couldn't tell the difference between love and infatuation, even after living so long in the 21st Century - even after being deceived and betrayed and regretting to ever blindly trust people.

Hae Soo now only reaps what she has sown, and if she was watching it from afar, Go Hajin would be cheering and clapping in delight.

After all, we should all pay for our mistakes, even the ones made in ignorance.

A few moments later, the tower is just rubble, a mess on the Hwangbo yard of scattered rocks. Her negative emotions, however, remain steady and standing, so she looks around and sees the other towers - the other feeble wishes and prayers made by another mother for other children.

 _Didn't she know how fragile her hopes were when she piled them up?_

In her frenzy of anger, she doesn't bother with trying to find out which pile is the one the Queen made for the 8th Prince; she simply starts to push them all down, tear them all apart. She crushes down the vain hopes and void wishes, the foolishness that made her believe in a good life as long as she worked hard, that deluded her and created chains and bars around her without her noticing.

Her faith in the world is crumbled, so now she makes sure everyone else's also is.

 _Come to your senses._

 _You're the only one who's on your side._

Her turmoil only comes to a halt after she kicks down a tiny tower, if, by any chance, the bunch of pebbles could be called one. It didn't have many stones - which evinced that no one had come to it for a long time - and it had an awkward arrangement - which was a clear display of the builder's lack of experience. Whoever made that one, surely, was someone not used to ask things from the heavens.

 _What did you wish for?_ she had asked him the night before he finally moved into the palace. She never found out the answer. Maybe he was afraid it wouldn't become true if he told her, maybe he never believed it would in the first place.

Soo observes the disarrayed rocks, panting and sweating, as her body starts to cool down and the fury in her heart is smothered by the misery and grief she had been carrying ever since Wang Mu and Wang Eun died.

"What did you wish for?" she asks out loud, she whispers, she questions the stones, but they don't answer.

They have no answer.

The stones are only a mark of a silent wish, a concealed hope of a lonely boy. They could never provide solutions or exits.

She falls down to the ground, all of her energy wasted and her body exhausted. Soo feels miserable once again when she remembers the few times they had met each other in that house.

Back then, their feelings for each other were nowhere close to where they are now, and even when she wished him a good life in the palace, their friendship was still awkward, still blooming. And now, with him so close in her heart, and yet so far away from her arms, she's back to that same residence.

Her outburst is similar to his all those years ago, but she doesn't know yet what he had in mind when he decided to build a praying tower after breaking down so many of them. She knows, for a fact, that she won't be piling up stones in exchange for wishes for a while.

"What did you wish for?" she repeats her questions, this time a bit soberer, but still full of longing. She doesn't ask the stones, though.

Surrounded by all of those broken and collapsed wishes, all she wants is to hear his voice again. Even if he didn't tell her the truth, even if he evaded the topic, she only wants him to sit beside her and talk to her.

She only wants him.

.

.

.

.

It's a long while until Hae Soo comes back to her senses. And when her mind stops the self-destructive burst, her body starts aching all over, and her head feels heavy - the effects of the sleepless night finally too strong to be ignored.

Hae Soo doesn't realign her clothes or her hair when she stands up. She goes back to her newly assigned room with dragging feet all the way, uncaring of what she looks like, what her manners should be like. She crashes down on the steps to her chambers, and she doesn't bother trying to stand up - although it's cold, although she's tired.

A servant rushes up to her, and Soo only notices it because of the familiar rustling sound of her skirts, but the woman doesn't say a thing, much to her annoyance.

"Bring me more alcohol," she orders her, and the rustling sound comes back only to fade again in the distance.

Soo doesn't know if the woman really went to fetch another bottle of wine, and frankly, she doesn't care. She's way too lost in misery for that.

So she looks up to the clear sky and makes a confession to the stars of Goryeo.

"You know what?" she murmurs with a sardonic smile, her voice full of bitterness, "I thought that, as long as I didn't hurt anyone, nobody would try to hurt me first. Aren't I stupid?"

The stars are like the stones: deaf, mute, indifferent to people's stupid wishes, hopes and prayers.

"Some people that I once loved, changed, and then they hurt me. While the others can't protect me anymore," she says to herself as if it is a joke, but she's not laughing, "Aren't I a pretty little flower, with no one to protect me? No one but myself?"

Soo lays back on the stairs, her mind finally surrendering and shutting down from exhaustion, when a weird thought crosses her mind.

 _Oh, I wish I were a cactus instead._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _._

She wakes up with a headache in the next morning.

Or afternoon, maybe?

It's the first time she sleeps ever since she got married, and also the first time she rests properly ever since her wedding day's eve.

The servant from last night, the same quiet girl who went to fetch wine before she passed out, is placing a cloth over her brow.

"What's going on?" her voice cracks when she asks, and she realizes how dry her throat her voice is. Her question seems to startle the girl, who jumps up, fumbling with her hands, and then lowers her head before speaking with a small voice.

"You have a fever, Buin," she explains hurriedly, "It's not high and it's starting to subdue, but it's best to rest for a while."

Soo sits up and looks around, recognizing her new room. But when she remembers last night events, she gets a little confused.

"How did I end up here?"

"I carried you, Buin," the girl explains immediately and then gasps as she realizes that could bring her trouble, "Please forgive my bold act."

The girl reminds Soo of her trainees in the Damiwon, and although her heart feels a bit warm inside, her face remains emotionless as she speaks, "Don't worry, it's alright. Where's the 8th Prince?"

"He has a visitor, so he didn't come."

"A visitor, huh? So he didn't pass by the last night?" She asks carefully, trying not to sound too worried or too afraid.

"No, Buin," the girl replies, but then seems to misunderstand Soo's reason for asking and quickly adds, "But I'm sure it's because I only informed the Prince about your misshape when he asked for you to have breakfast with him."

"I won't be having breakfast, I'm still quite ill," she speaks curtly before ordering, "Bring me some tea."

"Which flavor, Buin?"

"It doesn't matter, as long as it is hot. And sweet. Add a bit of honey."

After the servant leaves, she crashes back on her bed and sighs in contentment. Because, to tell the truth, she was actually feeling a bit better compared to last night.

Yes, she has a hangover, her head and her body are aching, and she feels nauseous, but it's not that serious. She's had way worse ones in her past life, and she knows this one will be gone in a few hours, at most. And although she feels the chills of her fever, she's sure it's mostly due to spending the night sitting on the floor and the pressure of starting a new life in the 8th Prince's house.

The truth is, she could rise from the bed and get ready for the day perfectly fine. But she won't, because she doesn't want to see the 8th Prince.

If his schedule is any way similar to the 4th Prince's old one, he has a few free hours before he has to go back to the palace. In the past, Myung Hee and Hae Soo usually ate lunch by themselves, and the 8th Prince would have his meal at his study room. But if he required her presence at breakfast, then he would require it again for lunch, and she doesn't think she's ready to face him just yet.

She just has to wait for him to leave, then she can ask the servant to bring her food.

.

.

.

.

The sun had already started to set in the horizon when she snuck out of her room, and now, as she stands before the small pond in the 8th Prince backyard, only the afterglow of the twilight remains.

He hadn't come after her the entire day, thanks to her fever, but late in the afternoon, when the servants brought her water to wash her face, one of them placed the same old cursed jade bracelet beside her towel.

Soo only stared at it nonchalantly, and didn't say anything, but she felt the stares. His spies would surely report every single detail of her reaction, and no matter how negative it was, he would find a way to interpret it to his own benefit. And that's why she didn't do anything then.

And that's why she there now, watching as the sun disappears in the horizon.

The jade sank quickly in the water. Soo didn't hesitate for a moment before throwing it away. But she is reluctant to return to her chambers.

It has only been two days since she got married and she's already in such a state, will she be able to endure years of this life?

What if she had indeed changed history and the 4th Prince ended up not rising to the throne? Could she live the rest of her life like this?

Would she be better off in the 21st Century?

If she jumped in the water now, where would she travel to? Would she be able to find him again, somehow?

Go Hajin never liked to give up, nor did Hae Soo. Even Jeongjong knew it: she wouldn't run away like this. Despite the promise of peace that the placid waters give her, she will turn around and leave these thoughts behind in a moment.

She will go back and face the storm in a moment. But for now, she enjoys the solitude and the silence, as the darkness wrap and grow dense around her - much alike to her first drowning experience.

However, the moment comes to an end too soon, as Hae Soo still doesn't allow herself to feel at peace for too long in such a place, even if it is her new home. She turns around from the lake when the last fraction of sunlight is gone and goes back to the stairs that will lead her back to her quarters. And only then does she notice the movement of rushing people near the main residence.

The servants and the few guards around speak in hushed voices, but she notices their alarmed expressions as they start to light up the lanterns and spread around the rooms before leaving through the main and side exits.

Soo wants nothing more than crash back on her bed and just wait for the night to be over, but her curiosity takes hold of her and she approaches a group of servants that has more familiar faces - possibly the ones who attended to her on her first day as a married woman.

"What are all of you doing here?" She asks without making her presence known first, and ends up scaring the girls a bit. They share worried glances as they silently argue who will be the one to answer.

One of the girls at the front, closest to the lady of the house, seems to be put in charge of the task, but as soon as she opens her mouth to reply, Soo hears someone speak behind.

"Orabeonim was worried," her sister-in-law says, full of scorn, and Soo turns around to see the woman's hateful gaze, "The entire household is looking for you."

Yeon Hwa is clearly looking for trouble, as she most likely laments not being able to tie her and beat her up. But Hae Soo is tired and she doesn't want to take part in her lame disputes, nor does she see any gain in lowering herself to the woman's level, so her words are curt.

"I was merely taking a stroll around the garden," Soo explains herself as she begins to walk back to her room, "There's no need for such a fuss."

She wants to leave the matter be, and avoid any sort of turmoil, but Yeon Hwa is adamant on lashing at her.

"Taking a stroll at this hour?"

Soo sighs, rolling her eyes and dropping her shoulders in disregard, then speaks impertinently, "What? Am I not allowed?"

"You just created trouble for everyone, don't you see?"

"I didn't leave the residence, Gongjunim, I was just in the garden. The 8th Prince is the one who alerted the guards and the servants," she replies with an unaffected voice, which she quickly learned to be what annoyed the Princess the most, "You should go back to him and reassure his mind; tell him I wasn't trying to run away."

Hae Soo is done talking, her patience and tolerance gone, so she simply walks away from the Princess.

"You won't be able to live long here like this," Yeon Hwa continues to shout behind her, but Soo doesn't turn around and calmly directs her gaze to two of the servant girls on standby.

"I'll be going back to my room now; I still feel a bit under the weather."

"Yes, buin," the girls bow and start to guide the path, illuminating it with their lanterns, but Soo notices that they feel nervous for accompanying her when Yeon Hwa is so clearly displeased by it.

She had recognized them, of course. The smallest servant was the same one that had taken care of her during the night, and the oldest was one of the servants that helped her to prepare the soap on the previous day. She had only asked them because they were familiar, but now she was afraid they would get in trouble later for leaving with her.

 _Well, I guess I should check on them from time to time from now on._

Soo groans internally. Even if she did check on them, there wasn't much she could do either. She can't save herself and every wronged servant of that household as well.

They walk in silence, taking the long way back to her room to avoid meeting the 8th Prince, but Soo breaks it when they arrived to a particular odd sight.

"What happened here?" She asks as she stops, looking around the mess in the yard.

"The wind was quite strong yesterday night," the youngest servant answers hesitantly, and it's clear that she just made up that excuse, "It took down some of the praying stones."

"Oh, is that so?" Soo asks curiously, as if she wasn't the one who broke the small towers down last night, "What will happen to them now?"

"Buin, I couldn't tell the Prince about it yet. I'll notify him tomorrow and he will take the proper measures."

"Very well."

Soo looks away from the set of scattered stones and begins to walk again along with the two girls, but something makes her freeze on her feet one more time.

She almost didn't notice it.

It was under a layer of dust and its color blended perfectly with the stones, so if the girl wasn't holding the lantern right above it, she wouldn't see something glittering, reflecting the light of the flame.

Soo crouches down, startling the servants, and starts to move the dirt and the pebbles to have a proper look. Then she brings up a metallic object closer to the light.

"Does this belong to the Princess?"

"No, buin," the oldest servant answers in a firm voice, although she can't completely hide her nervousness, "I've been in this household since a child, and I have assisted the Princess before. Such a jewel… I'm sure she doesn't have it. She prefers more colorful items."

"Then, is it the Queen's?"

"I… I-I don't think so."

"It seems to be neglected, but it's still quite pretty. It feels like I just stumbled on an ancient treasure," she says cheerfully and notices the servants relaxing, so she proclaims with confident and relaxed tone, "Since it has no owner I'll claim it as mine."

It seems that the 'finders, keepers' notion was as old as Goryeo, since none of the girls looks surprised or preoccupied by Soo's statement. They even finish the path in a more comfortable posture, and don't see anything weird or out of place when their lady walks in her chambers and asks to be left alone for the night.

When the light of the lanterns is gone, Soo only has the moon to allow her to admire her new treasure.

It isn't made out of gold or silver, but it is a high quality steel, that didn't rust after a long period exposed to the inconstancy of the weather. It is opaque in a few areas and it is old, a bit dented on the sides, but it can still reflect the small portion of moonlight.

The hairpin is indeed pretty, but that's not why Hae Soo took it with her.

She had only seen the jewel for a limited amount of time after she found it in the bath of the Damiwon. She hadn't dared to walk around with it after taking it back to her old room all those years in the past. But she is sure that this is the one, it's the hairpin he left behind when she first saw his scar.

It was also the cause of her taking a beating back then, she remembers, and she can even smile at the bitter memory.

She can smile because that was also the first time he called her his.

 _Oh, she had been so angry back then…_

Soo can't help but wonder if she would have loved the 4th Prince sooner if she hadn't gotten herself involved with his 8th brother first, and just to console herself she says to her naïve and younger self that this is how things were supposed to be.

 _What did you wish for?_ She asks mentally once again, her hand caressing the carvings of the butterfly longingly. He hadn't told her then, but she can't help but wonder if he would answer now.

Had it come true? Was it frustrated? Did he give up on waiting for it to be realized? In that case, what would he advise her to do after the stars and the stones proved to be a fruitless resource?

Would he scold her for even making such wishes in the first place?

On her first day in the Hwangbo household, she was feeling quite optimistic. Despite being afraid and angry all the time, she still believed she could manage to live if she didn't give up the fight. She had faith that she could find a way to live well in that place and wait for her Prince's return.

Now it's only the second day, and her faith is already a thin thread, the reminiscence of a hope that collapsed with the praying towers last night.

The hairpin is old, but still strong and resistant, and it hurts her hands when they clench around it tightly, hoping to find new strength from it.

A tear rolls out from her eyes, and she falls asleep.

* * *

 **Rito Dey : _I wouldn't forgive myself if I wrote Soo falling for Wook. Rest assured, that will not happen as long as I'm the author. Sorry for the long wait!_**

 **lucysunshine : _Thanks a lot! And there you go, only a few months late :)_**

 **Guest : _Don't worry, even if I stop being active I won't stop writing, and sorry for making you anxious_**


	5. THE CLAN

**A\N: Happy new year, everyone. And that next year I may finally conclude this story. Quick note, this has not been revised yet.**

* * *

Thankfully, in the following days, Wang Wook doesn't seem to be as intrusive as before.

He still lurks around her, of course. Hae Soo feels his gaze upon her from time to time whenever she's walking around the courtyards at his residence, but she never sees him. She wonders if he's hiding in the distance or just in a shadow nearby, and she also asks herself if it's better this way: not seeing him, but being always under his vigilant eyes.

And well, he probably wasn't there at all, and it was just paranoia making her see and feel things that weren't happening. Even so, she couldn't let her guard drop for a second. Because, although not as intrusive as before, Wook's presence is a constant in her new life.

Every time she walks around the residence, no matter how early or how late it is, she risks an encounter with him. But being trapped all day in her room makes her feel suffocated, so she risks encountering him anyway, and sometimes they do meet.

She politely greets him, with a slight bow when they cross paths, but doesn't look him in the eye, doesn't try to strike up a conversation, doesn't linger nearby him any longer than necessary. She doesn't even address him, unless he has a guest along. She acts just like she did in the Damiwon, after she decided to put him and all that they had together behind.

Hae Soo won't let him come any closer again.

If it was a pretty doll he wanted, a pretty doll he would have.

From time to time, the 8th Prince would be invited to a formal dinner at someone's house, or he would offer feasts to his political allies. On these occasions she would have no choice but to go, to stand by his side with an impeccable appearance and flawless poise, to sit by him and dutifully attend to her husband. She would have to greet everyone politely, be it as a guest or as a host, but never once would she let her mask fall.

Her mask was her survival.

He would also insist on them eating at least one meal together from time to time, and he would always find a way to get what he wanted. She tried going to bed earlier to avoid being summoned to his room, but that ended up with him showing up on her chambers for them to dine together. She tried disappearing in the mountain in the backyard of his house, and he waited up, sitting on his untouched table full of food, and took it out on the servants, who waited on their foot until the lady of the house came in.

In the end, she decided to simply sit there, and not move, not eat, just like she did on their wedding night, just like she would do when they were out together, and keep her eyes fixed on the table as he kept on babbling nonstop about things she didn't care about.

But being a doll was tiring.

Being trapped in that house was tiring.

Being wary and vigilant, afraid that any moment the 8th Prince could attempt to do something to her, was tiring.

She was already exhausted, and despite not having to see Wook all the time, she didn't know how long she could go on like that.

In that house, that once was the best place to be in the world, the minutes felt like long and torturous hours, the days passed like weeks, and her first month of married life weighted over like a decade.

And of course, her husband wasn't the only one she had to thank for her extended and unpleasant stay at that household. Hae Soo also had the Princess Yeon Hwa's machinations and the entire Hwangbo clan to make her life even more insufferable.

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"You really have no class." Those are the first words the Princess says to her since her wedding, after over a month since she moved into the 8th Prince's house.

The berating tone is not a surprise to Soo, as the woman never really liked her; nor are the reprimanding words, as she never expected her sister-in-law to appreciate something she did. But still, the scolding comes from nowhere, as Soo is pretty sure her stance while she poured her tea was quite flawless, her posture as she kneels on the floor of the gazebo is more than appropriate, and she really can't see how she has no class.

The woman seems to notice her confusion, but that only angers her even more. Her eyebrow twitches and her lips purse in discontent as she explains with a much better phrasing, "You're behaving like a strange towards your own husband because of another man. That's really low of you."

Soo could argue back, of course. She could say that the Princess is wrong, and that she's only acting like a strange towards the 8th Prince because she hates everything about him, and not exactly because she's hung up on the 4th Prince. She could list all of the reasons why Yeon Hwa didn't have no right to say she has no class, but honestly, she doesn't think it will make a difference, so she just smiles and asks teasingly.

"Gongjunim," her voice is sweet when she speaks, "Have you been watching the private life of a married couple?"

The woman's jaw drops in shock with Hae Soo's retort, she blinks a few times, trying to rearrange her thoughts so she can resume her scolding, and finally spurts out.

"I can't stand this, that's why I'm intervening."

"So, you've decided to lower your level so you could call out my low levels."

Apparently no one had ever called Yeon Hwa as someone of low class, as the woman looks terrified by the word. Also, it seemed as if that sort of offense was worse than being reminded that she caused the death of her younger brother, since her eyes bulge and her face flushes when Soo uses the woman's twisted logic to get rid of her.

It's actually fun and satisfying to find a weakness on the perfect and arrogant mask of the despicable lady.

However, the Princess presses on - despite the oh, utter humiliation - and Soo's words fail to drive her away.

"My brother would do anything for his family," Yeon Hwa argues, trying to appeal to family ties, as if it actually mattered to her, "I don't see why you can't cooperate with him, and at least give him some face."

"Well, do forgive me, Gongjunim, but it seems that you have nothing else to do but spy on my private life."

The princess can't find a retort, and she struggled to find proper and dignified words, "You're a Hwangbo now..."

"Still, my married life is not related to you."

Soo's being a bit shameless, but she doesn't have any time to bother with her shame. Her skin became thicker after enduring so many hardships in such a brief period of time, and she prefers to use simple offenses to make Yeon Hwa stutter as she tries to counterattack.

"You're treating my brother as if he were a monster."

"Maybe he is. Maybe you all are. Maybe I am one as well," Soo laughs as she shakes her cup, making the tea swirl around it, "But still, I fail to see how that concerns you, or even what sort of power do you have to do anything about it."

Soo sips calmly from her tea, savoring the fragrant drink as the woman continues her attempt to diminish her

"Do you really think you're going to get anything by acting like this? Do you truly believe he won't divorce you?"

"Actually, I'm hoping he will," she clarifies to her sister-in-law, raising a hand to clear the misunderstanding, "But I've tried already. Apparently cursing at him isn't enough to make him divorce me."

"You think you won't regret it.

"If there's anything I regret, Gongjunim," Soo replies with a bitter smile, her undignified tone making the Princess unsettled once again, "Is that first step I took into this residence of yours. Now leave, before I do something that I'm sure you will regret."

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"Huanghu," Hae Soo bows politely before the woman, just like she did when she was just a child meeting a Queen for the first time. This time, however, she's not afraid of doing or saying something wrong. She's not even afraid of being sent to prison or anything of the sort. The years in Goryeo seemed to pass like decades, and Hae Soo feels like an elder compared to the silly and naïve girl she used to be.

She sits down in front of her mother-in-law when the woman indicates her to do so with a move of the hand. After almost two months living in the 8th Prince's residence as his wife, this is the first time Shinjeong takes the initiative to begin a civilized and open conversation, and in private, so it must be something serious.

However, for a while, there is only silence in the small room that was once Myung Hee's. Unlike when she's in the presence of the 8th Prince, she keeps her gaze up, waiting for the woman's keen eyes to finish analyzing her and then finally speak up.

"I'm against this wedding, as you might already know," the Queen declares bluntly and then frowns slightly, "And well… Now I'm not so sure you're pleased either. You may be honest."

She wasn't planning on pretending, to start with, or lying to please the Hwangbo clan, so Soo doesn't hesitate to voice her indignation in a pointy voice, "I am not, Huanghu."

The Queen falls silent once again as she nods understandingly, looking at her with calm and serene eyes. She has a gentle and patient aura, as if she always at ease, always relaxed, always approachable. The Queen looks kind, but Soo knows that those eyes are like the depths of the ocean. Shinjeong has a reassuring and easing presence, but she's unreadable, unfathomable, and unlike the Queen Yoo, it's nearly impossible to know what she's thinking or scheming. It's impossible to see what lurks beneath those calm and kind eyes

She has a perfect poker face, but Soo knows she's looking at her as if she was only a piece on a game board. Right now she's using her soothing voice and her tranquilizing eyes to asses Hae Soo, to calculate which move would be the most profitable and how can she make best use of her.

Gentleness was Shinjeong's mask.

After her assessment is through she finally speaks again, with a concerned and motherly tone, as if they are lifelong confidents.

"Your late cousin once asked me to accept you as my daughter-in-law." The reveal is a bitter surprise to Hae Soo, but she doesn't let it show and just waits for the woman to be done speaking, "I'm sure you can understand my reluctance to it, especially after your family offered you to the king and you cut your wrist.

Hae Soo can understand that. She really does. Never once did she hold a grudge against those who only watched when she was taken to the palace for the first time. And never once did she expect anyone to be by her side after she inflicted a scar upon herself. Given her circumstances, it was actually a surprise that there were people taking her side - she was ready to go down alone. She was willing to bet her own life back then, and she never wanted anyone else to do the same, so she could understand those who abandoned her after she became a court lady.

Hae Soo actually can understand her, but she's not on the mood to be understanding nor to give face to the older woman by saying forgiving words.

"If you came here to berate me on my behavior, you should do it at once, Huanghu."

"I'm not here for that." The woman's tone drops a level of warmth when Soo refuses her with ease, but her words are still polite and welcoming, "I have been in a position similar to yours. And I can tell you for sure that you won't make it alone. You'll remain a target to the King unless you find support." She pauses and takes another careful look at the girl, looking for a sign of weakness or for a hint of plea for support, "The Hwangbo are willing to give it to you; as long as you provide them an heir."

It takes a second for Hae Soo to register those words. It takes a moment for her to make sure that she's not dreaming nor hallucinating. And when she realizes that yes, she just heard what she thought she had heard, Soo scoffs, failing to hold her laugh, finding it ridiculous that the Queen just suggested for her to bear a child for the 8th Prince. As if she wasn't married against her will, as if the woman didn't just say that she does not approve her union to her son.

"And after that heir is born, how long will it take for you to dispose me?"

Shinjeong doesn't bulge after her sarcastic line, and only questions calmly, "Why would we dispose you?"

"Because I'm a threat to your son." Soo's smile grows larger as she continues to speak, "Should the King lose his temper and snap, and demand my head for regicide one day, I'll drag the 8th Prince down with me."

The Queen does not deny that. She knows Hae Soo well enough to know that she's familiar with the state of the court and the clash between the clans, so she doesn't dare to say that that is not the case. But she puts her intertwined hands on the top of the table and leans closer, as if she's proposing an unmissable deal, and the only lifesaver Soo can ever hope to receive.

"Should you conceive the clan would have to protect you. However, if you refuse, the clan will keep pressuring Wook to divorce you."

There is a minor threat on the woman's words, but Soo only continues to smile as she replies shrugging, unshaken by the grandiose offer, "I'm hoping for that, actually."

Shinjeong frowns at Soo's reaction, as if she's a volatile unknown on her equation. As if her daughter-in-law is another ocean, another set of calm but unreadable eyes, and Soo wonders if the few years in Goryeo's palace trained her to maintain a poker face as well.

Apathy has become Hae Soo's mask.

And her mask was thick and solid, to the point of hiding her innocent ideals and dreams, to the point that the woman before her has to ask what should be the obvious for a young lady from the 21st Century.

"You were willing to be with him before, what repels you now?"

Soo mimics the woman's body language, leaning closer to her and speaking in a calm, logical and argumentative tone.

"Huanghu, did you chose your husband? Did you ever love, or were you ever loved by him? If you could refuse him, would you?"

"It's a great honor to be chosen as a Queen. Or the wife of a prince, for that matter," The Hwangbo Queen does not hesitate before answering, her eyes becoming a little acid as she adds, "Only a fool would slash her own wrist to avoid it."

"So you did want all the power then! I see that. Then it's a relief for you." She doesn't blink and doesn't falter at the offense, although her voice sounds deeper than before, "But, as your daughter might very well know, there's nothing as revolting as being given in marriage against your will to someone you want no relations with. And yet you did not criticize her for standing up for herself."

"Yeon Hwa was going to be sent off as a hostage…"

"And I am not?" She interrupts the woman angrily, not caring about appearances and proper manners, "I'm a hostage of the King, who wants to control his brothers. I'm a hostage of the 8th Prince, who won't allow me to be with anyone but him. I'm a hostage of the Hwangbo, who are desperate for an heir and blame my Unnie for your lack of grandchildren."

"So you refuse my help."

"Since your help involves me allowing the 8th Prince to touch me, yes, I do."

"In this case, heed my warning." The Queen hisses, and there no longer room for negotiation in her posture, "I will not allow you to ruin my son."

"Your son is already ruining himself, Hwanghu," Hae Soo can't help but laugh again, "He has been longer than you noticed."

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"I can't take all of these." Soo refuses the servant with a kind smile. The girl stops her movements, pausing her hands that carry a bowl of recently bought pears.

She loves pears, and that's why she asked the girl to find some for her in the market. But the ones that pile heavily on the plate are way too many to be considered as a snack. Soo even dreads having to eat all of them in one afternoon.

The servant's eyes bulge, and she panics as she begins to wonder if she made a deadly mistake. Her gaze shifts to every single place in the room, trying to find someone to help her, but the two of them are alone. Then, shaking, she says in a quiet and scared voice, "Wangjanim says to always buy you double."

"I can't have the double of food," she sighs patiently, taking an extra plate to put out half of the ones Daeun offered to her, "Just the few ones I asked for will be enough."

"Forgive me, Buin." The girl's eyes well up with tears as her panic becomes despair, and she bows deeply, speaking with a submissive tone, "I won't ever do it again, but please spare me."

"It's okay, Daeun-ah," Hae Soo manages to hold the laughter back, and only smiles amused at the girl's reaction, "I just can't eat everything, that's all."

"But Wangjanim said..."

"Wangjanim is not the one eating, is he?" Soo pauses, and looking back to the past few similar events, she decides to pass down a subtle command, "Even if he does tell you to buy me the double of food, he can't make me eat everything. I know my limits."

Soo's warm tone makes the girl stop tearing up, and reflect calmly on her words.

"Then, I won't buy the double of food again?"

"It would be the best. But don't worry, I won't eat them, but I won't let them go to waste," she offers the new plate with the extra fresh fruits to the servant, "Take these with you."

The girl freezes and panics once again

"Buin, I could never."

"Yes, you can. It's a gift from your madam."

"Buin, this is not appropriate."

"What if I order you to take them?"

"I can't accept these," the girl refuses once again - although her eyes betray her words, her mouth obviously watering at the view of such a fine delicacy - and then mutters softly, "They were so expensive..."

"Then share them with the rest of the girls."

"But, Buin…"

"No one will know if we don't tell, right?"

Hae Soo puts the plate forcibly on the girl's hands, leaving her no choice but to accept them. And when the girl no longer protests, she knows she has accepted.

Daeun leaves her room with a big smile and Soo follows her distancing figure with her eyes. She takes a pear from the pile and begins to eat it calmly, finally letting the facial muscles relax and the kind smile fade away.

Although she doesn't speak much with her husband and his family, she's very open and talkative with the servants and guards of the residence. So as not to die of boredom and loneliness on that place, she has been attempting to at least make some acquaintances, people who would be willing to throw some small talk away during their busy lives.

She's always kind. Always attentive.

There's a captain of the sentries called Byungchul, who tells her stories of his wife and his daughter whenever he's changing shifts. Two old men, Gunwoo and Minsoo, who tend to the gardens enjoy sharing their knowledge about every herb and every plant they have ever seen. Kijung, the stock manager enchants her with a tale from some far land overseas and another one from the surrounding countries as they wait for his men to bring the products to the storage room. Even the girls at the kitchen always freak out when she shows up, but they also enjoy having her around, teaching them new ways to prepare food and drinks.

She's always open to them. She doesn't act like a noble lady, but acts as if they were all equal. She listens to their sufferings attentively, and says words of comfort or of congratulation when it's fit.

It turns out that apathy isn't Hae Soo's only mask.

Byungchul's family was from Seokyeong, so he always mentions something about the current situation of the place, and that's the closest she can get to having news from the 4th Prince now. Gunwoo and Minsoo are also quite versed on poisons and antidotes. Kijung updates her on the situation of the borders and the relation between Goryeo and the allied countries. The girls in the kitchen don't provide with much external information, but she manages to catch up on the palace's gossip.

As for the girls who attend her, Soo tested them. She watched carefully their behavior and their words, so she has begun to take notice of little actions she used to ignore when younger. She knows who is a spy and who is innocent. She knows which ones would betray her first, should the situation come to a more extreme level - be it by need or greed.

After a while, she learnt how to recognize the pattern of the guilty ones.

(She doesn't want to think about Chae Ryung. She won't think about Chae Ryung.)

She doesn't take any drastic measures. She doesn't have the power to do that. But she acts carefully around the ones she knows not to be loyal - never grows too attached to them, never lets them notice anything behind her masks, never allows them to come too close, to stay too long.

The ones who she knows to be safe - the old ones that came to the residence with her Unnie, some of the ones that King bestowed upon her from the Damiwon, and even a few naïve and gossipy ones, are on a mental list that Soo carefully revises every day, with the utmost caution.

She won't let the past repeat itself ever again.

Soo chews on her pear slowly. She wasn't even hungry to begin with; she only wanted to propose a new test for the new girl, Daeun. The young maid who smiles brightly and laments dramatically, who is always exaggerated in her action, who always pushes herself to give more than she has, to grasp more than she can reach, just to make people's lives a little bit more colorful. Just like Soobin, the one who carried her drunken body from the porch on her first day there, helped her change and told the Prince she wouldn't joy him for breakfast. Just like the girl Hae Soo used to be when she was still mostly Go Hajin.

If he thought that by getting someone that behaved like her younger self he could deceive her and make her drop her guard, then he clearly underestimated what a few years in the Damiwon serving the king could teach someone.

In her mental list, Hae Soo crosses out Daeun's name.

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"We'll head to the palace today. Get ready." The 8th Prince says without greeting her. He stopped greeting her after she refused to greet him back and only ignored him. So he just says what he wants, and she follows his every wish without all of the unnecessary politeness.

"What's the occasion?" She only asks for the sake of the court ladies who will have to get her dressed.

"Won-ah is holding a banquet for his birthday, we were invited."

"And who else is attending?"

Wook hesitates and looks at her with a cautious look, the one that unsettles her the most, the one that makes her feel more like a trophy than a person, like he'd rather kill her than let anyone else have her.

"You want to know if So is coming?"

Soo manages to hide the shivers and the subtle tremble of her hands, as well as stare back at him with dead eyes; her voice comes out cold and indifferent when she speaks.

"I doubt the 4th Prince would care about the 9th Prince's day of birth, let alone join his banquet. I merely want to know who will be present so I can dress accordingly."

The answer seems to appease him, as he replies back in a very satisfied tone, "Just a few brothers and some of his friends."

"Will the King come?"

"Unlikely. Pyeha has been busy with the change of the Capital," his alarming gaze returns as he analyses her reaction to the next words, "There are many troubles happening in Seokyeong lately. There are rumors of a riot."

Soo's calm is undisturbed as she smoothly pours more tea for herself and drinks with leisure. She's been aware of the troubles for months now. He can't shake her with old rumors.

Of course, he doesn't know that.

"Will the others bring their wives as well?" She makes another question, not minding his unrelated comment.

"Yes, you won't be the only one. Dress your best and leave them all mesmerized."

He smiles at her warmly before leaving, and it disgusts her to the core. It makes her skin crawl, and her stomach revolt in anger. It takes away any sort of willingness she could still have for going to the 9th Prince's birthday party.

When the servants bring her clothes forth, Soo asks them to change for something simpler, for less jewels, for a subtler makeup and a less extravagant hairdo. She's well aware of the gossip that will spread among the important women in court if she shows up in a plain outfit, and she knows that he wishes for her to be the center of attention today. So she'll make sure his wish comes true.

Soo doesn't care about the silly competition among noble women, and she doesn't care if she's giving her husband face by showing with an astonishing outfit.

The 8th Prince knows that very well, so he doesn't make her change clothes after she goes up to meet him.

At the party, Soo doesn't speak a word. And really, she doesn't have to. She's not close with any of the present, although she's well familiar with the faces that visited the Damiwon often. She's used to being silent while they enjoy themselves, and she's able to blend in with the scenario and pass by unnoticed.

She's also able to discreetly pay attention and listen to the guests. And she's really great at that.

After the meal is over and the gifts are delivered, Wook begins to follow some of the men to a private room. She looks around and sees all of ladies

"May I go to the Damiwon, then?" She asks with a neutral voice, and immediately explains herself, let alone the gaze returns, "I'm just going to have some tea."

"Very well. I'll come fetch you at the end of the day. Don't get lost."

She doesn't acknowledge his attempt to make humor, and just nods to sign that she has understood and immediately removes herself from the room. The others don't even notice that she's gone, nor do they care about it, and as she walks away she can hear the faint sound of laughter.

The festive sound reminds her of the 10th Prince's birthday party, years ago. And that makes her heart ache once again inside of her chest. It continues to ache when she arrives at the Damiwon, the place filled with her best and worst memories. She ignores the nostalgia trip of the past events she lived in that place and marches straight to the bath where she first saw the sun of Goryeo.

(It was also where she first saw his scar.)

The waters are calm and placid, as there's not even a gust of wind to disturb its surface, and she plays imagining what would happen if she were to go inside now and drown once again.

 _Would I die? Or would I just come back to my place?_

 _Would I be able to reunite with him there?_

 _What if he jumped in the water with me, would we travel together?_

Hae Soo's main goal when she first arrived in Goryeo was to live, to survive. But not just live, to live like she wanted to. And despite her wish being a fruit of the life she had in Seoul, she could tell that everyone in there had that same sort of wish. Even right now, on the verge of despair, the only wish she had was not to die, not to go back, but simply to live like she wanted to live.

 _It shouldn't be so hard._

She's caught up on her own thoughts and contemplation so she doesn't notice when someone approaches until she hears someone calling her.

"Agassi, is that you?"

Soo is surprised, but happily so. That's why, when she turns around, she feels herself smiling. An honest and large smile this time, one that she hasn't used for so long. A spontaneous expression after seeing a familiar and close person after so long.

"You really should stop calling me that," she reprimands Chae Ryung, but her tone is light and it makes the girl smile as well.

"The new clothes look marvelous on you," Chae Ryung says as she walks closer, and her eyes shine as she happily but reverently admires the woman in front of her, "Just like I thought, Agassi fits noble hanboks the more."

"Are you saying your clothes aren't noble?" Soo raises one eyebrow and drops her tone, which makes Chae Ryung panic slightly.

"No, I wouldn't dare."

"It's alright," she chuckles and the girl pouts, "I just missed teasing you."

"You're mean, Agassi."

"Do bear with me. I've been somewhat lonely since I moved out of the palace. Now I wish the 8th Prince never sent you here."

He had done it to please her, and it annoyed her. Her roots from the 21st Century couldn't help but make her see this act as dehumanization of the servant girl; as if Chae Ryung were just like all of the other gifts he had sent her in an attempt to win her back. Her new mindset from the Goryeo era allows her to baffle at the twisted and malicious mind of the prince, and how easily he treats people as paws to manipulate the game to his favor.

So her smile doesn't last for long. And her bright mood after seeing her little sister again is soon damped, her expression becoming dark as she returns the gaze back to the waters that had brought her into that mess.

Beside her, Chae Ryung fiddles her fingers after seeing her old lady feeling distressed, even though she doesn't know exactly why she's brooding right now. And she hesitates, struggles to find words.

"Agassi," the court lady speaks after a long pause, "Are you happy?"

"What is happy, Chae Ryung-ah?" Soo's eyes don't divert from the same fixed point, making her words seem even more melancholic, "I've always wondered about it…"

There is another moment of silence, as Chae Ryung just can't help but to take Hae Soo's question seriously and diligently think about it to come up with a proper answer.

"When I was a child, I'd feel happy the most when my stomach was full, the night was warm, and my entire family was by my side. Then I guess being happy is being satisfied, feeling comfortable, and enjoying the company of people who care about you." The explanation is simple, because Chae Ryung is a simple girl. After summarizing her thoughts, she looks pitifully to her old Sanggung, "Then, Agassi, are you happy?"

"I don't lack any of that."

"No, you don't. The 8th Prince has a secure position. He also has the finest food on his table, the richest fabric for his clothes. Even his servants are well-attended. Any woman would be delighted to be his wife. Moreover, he holds you in high esteem, so you don't have to fear to be cast away in shame if you can't fulfill the wifely duties," Chae Ryung's voice begins to crack as she tries to hold her tears in, feeling even worse as she prepares to ask the same question for the third time, "But still, I must ask: Are you happy, Agassi?"

This time Hae Soo looks back to the girl and sees her pitiful eyes filling up with tears, so she can't help but smile bitterly.

"If I lie, will you pretend to believe me?"

"You shouldn't have to lie."

"And you shouldn't have to sell yourself as a slave to feed your family." Soo sighs, lamenting the sort of things people are faced with, the sort of hardship that makes them choose the wrong path and make decisions that they will regret later.

She laments for Chae Ryung and walks away from the bath, the said court lady tailing after her, just like she used to do back when her Unnie was still alive and they lived together, as sisters.

"I've stopped thinking about being happy. I just want to survive," Soo finally replies the girl, although not directly, and her answer mortifies her.

"Agassi, the 4th Prince…"

"Is far away from here. And even if he wasn't, I wouldn't be able to be with him."

"Then, by yourself…"

"Don't worry about me, Chae Ryung-ah," Soo interrupts her once again, by this time sympathetically, "I may not be happy, but I am fine. I'm going to be fine. You saw me get out of worse scenarios, right?"

The court lady nods, and she looks like she's about to say something when her expression shifts and she bows reverently. The footsteps behind Soo come to a halt and she turns around to see her next

"Lady Hae Soo," the Royal Eunuch speaks with the usual authoritarian and yet respectful tone, "the King has summoned you."

She hears the faint gasp of Chae Ryung, but Hae Soo only nods coldly, indicating them that she'll proceed as ordered.

"Lead the way."

.

.

.

.

"Pyeha, you called for me?"

"Oh, great! You arrived!" Jeongjong's smile is as maniac as ever and his eyes are frantic, but his tone sounds a bit higher, as if he was truly excited to see Hae Soo again, "The new girl isn't as fun to mess with as you are."

"Didn't you have fun when you sent me off already?"

"But now that you're gone, the fun is as well. No matter how delightful my 8th brother must be now."

 _BAM!_ Yo hits the table hard, making the tea pot and the cups shake and chatter, the liquid spilling out, and causing her to flinch. Yes, he's still mad and he still scares her, especially considering he can go from happy to insane.

"Tell me, how is he planning to overthrone me now?" His tone is angry, dangerously angry, and it makes her regret leaving the 8th Prince's side as he continues to demand, "Is it the same strategy as before? Is it poison? Drink it."

He takes the cup and marches up to her, raising the cup to her lips as he orders. It takes all of Hae Soo's inner strength to not stutter her next words.

"Pyeha, I'm not allowed."

"What's the matter?" The King is not raising his voice, which makes the threatening tone intimidate her even more, "You were so bold before your King just now, and now you falter because of a cup of tea?"

"I cannot drink something poured for the King."

"Drink it and you might be lucky that there is no poison here at all."

Wang Yo doesn't leave an opening for her to refuse it yet again, he simply grabs her firmly and forces the cup of tea down on her throat. Hae Soo gulps down the hot liquid, struggling to swallow as he tilts the tea cup more and more, until it's finally empty. She falls down when he lets her go. She chokes and coughs up, trying to breathe properly, but nothing else happens.

"So it's not poison then!" He's acting happy once again and goes back with ease to his seat to pour a cup of tea for himself, savoring it as if it's a sunny and pleasant afternoon, "I figured someone with even an ounce of intelligence would use the same trick twice. No, Wook's plan will be something different. Something more sophisticated."

Soo wipes her face off, not looking up at him as she mutters, "It's the same trick."

"Huh?"

"His trick is not poison," she speaks a little louder this time, staring at the cup on the King's hand and honestly wishing that there is poison there, one that just takes a little longer to work, "That's the 9th Prince's technique. And your mother's."

"You really have no fear, do you? Tell me, what is his trick?"

"The 8th Prince doesn't stain his hands. He has a kind and wise image, he wouldn't want others to call him a murderer and traitor."

"I already knew that." The King puts the cup down with a loud sound, a sign of impatience, "His trick."

"He uses others." Her eyes finally meet his, and she sustain the gaze, "He used the 9th Prince to poison the late King. He used the 4th Prince to get rid of the 10th Prince. And even used you to issue the order."

There is a long moment of cold silence as Yo sneers and says, affronted, "Wook used me?"

"Then, did you come up with the idea to order your fourth brother on your own?" Soo sits down on the floor, without the proper care or etiquette, and raises an eyebrow as she continues to question him, "Wasn't it ever suggested to you before?"

She didn't have to think hard to figure that out; and when she did, she wasn't even surprised. Jeongjong doesn't look surprised either,

"Alright, you do have a point. But who is he using this time?"

"Jin Gyesok," she gives him the name immediately and the King pauses, obviously confused, before continuing his interrogation.

"My father-in-law's brother? Why him? He's related to the King already."

"But you plan on divorcing from your wife, don't you?"

"So he wants me to marry Yeon Hwa?"

"As if. He wants to be the King, not the brother of the Queen," she says casually, as if Wook was always the only one unsatisfied with his position, "You snatched what he wanted the most right from his fingertips, I doubt he'll be contented with such. He's coming after you."

The threat is subtle, but it doesn't faze Jeongjong the slightest, as his smile doesn't fade for a second, completely relaxed and at ease.

"That's easy to resolve. I'll just have Jin Gyesok killed."

"Then he'll find another puppet. He has spent a lot of time planning; I don't think Jin Gyesok is the only piece on his game."

And she's not wrong, nor is she lying. Soo is sure that Jin Gyesok and Wang Wook are working together on something, although she doesn't have proof, although she's not even certain of what exactly they're doing together. She only has her own eyes, her invisible presence and experience from the Damiwon to be certain that her information is correct. She has gone even further to realize that, although important, Jin Gyesok is actually a disposable piece.

She has also seen others, many than she expected, but certainly a lot less than what Yo's paranoia has led him to believe. And she wants all of them gone before the 4th Prince finally makes his move for the throne.

But of course, that's a detail she won't bother to mention.

"If you're lying…"

"Why would I lie? If the 8th Prince gets the crown, I'll be trapped to him forever."

"So you'll support me?" Yo asks with genuine interest and that creeps Hae Soo even more.

"Don't be a fool. I'm only supporting myself," Soo snorts and stands up properly, ladylike, "I despise you, but now you sticking to the throne benefits me more than my husband. That's the only reason why I helped you."

"Then," Wang Yo's smile grows even more sinister, a familiar glint of mischief sparking on the bottom of his eyes, "Would you be willing to help me just a bit more?"

"Soo-yah," her husband calls her and beckons her to approach the two man on the table, "Come, join us."

Soo was not surprised with the sudden invitation, and she was ready for another boring afternoon that she would spend silently with the 8th Prince and his guest. However, when she sees who is the newcomer, she can't help but smile warmly, although not as much as she would if they were in private.

"Greetings, Wangjanim. And welcome back to Songak."

"You don't have to be polite with him because of me. I know you two are as close as blood siblings," Wook, who is right in front of the sitting man smiles like a friendly host and touches her shoulder when he speaks, but the small tint of jealously doesn't pass by unnoticed by the guests nor the servants, "Feel free to act like you did in the past."

"It's okay, hyungnim," Wang Baek Ah intervenes, commenting lightly but saving her from the embarrassing conversation, "Soo hasn't been as energetic as before since she was named Sanggung in the Damiwon."

"There's no need to be reminiscent about the past," Soo shakes her head lightly and her smile fades away. But still, her eyes show that she's pleased; her expression not as cold as it has usually been in the past three months.

But, as her close friend, Baek Ah can't just ignore the defeated expression, and the darkness that has surrounded her.

"Don't worry, Soo-yah. We still have good memories from the old days, don't we? Let's try to make a better future so we can days like those again."

She knows he means well, but she doesn't cheer up when she speaks.

"This house is so empty now."

"Baek Ah will be visiting from now on." Wook intrudes in the conversation, but this time Soo gets too happily surprised to be annoyed, "He'll keep you company, so you don't feel bored."

"Thank you, Wangjanim." Yes, the appropriated thing would be to thank her husband, but she knows that Baek Ah was the one who approached him first, and the one who's actually doing this for her, so it's to him that she directs her words.

"But as much as I'd love to stay longer today, I have yet to present myself before the King." The Prince begins to make mention to leave, and it's about to say his goodbyes, when Wook speaks up.

"You just arrived from Seokyeong, didn't you? Any news from So?"

The optimistic smile fades away from Baek Ah's lips and he frowns, hesitating for a few seconds before replying slowly, his eyes cast down.

"No. He didn't see me."

"Oh." Wook's eyes bulge in a fake surprised, "I always thought the two of you were rather close."

"Hyungnim is rather volatile," his brother stutters before speaking with a firm and yet dejected tone, "After what happened with our 10th brother he has been closed to the world. It's like he never lived with us in the palace again."

"He had a tough childhood." Wook nods his head, his eyes looking sad as he speaks with concerned and understanding tone, as if he has wisdom beyond years, "His behavior shouldn't be so surprising."

"It's a pity though. Too many deaths around us... Frankly, I'm tired of it."

"We all just want the deaths to stop." The 8th Prince's words seemed to be aimed to Hae Soo this time, but he's still looking at his brother, "It's unfortunate how much a person can change. I'm afraid that, after killing Eun, So went past the saving point."

There is another moment of heavy silence, and Soo feels bad for Baek Ah, who's trying hard not to squirm on his chair. Her husband's words don't affect her, as she knows more than the 8th Prince thinks she does and she has full faith on the 4th Prince. But she can see that the 13th Prince is visibly shaken by those words.

She's about to speak up and change the topic, or at least find an escape for her friend. But before she opens her mouth, Baek Ah stands up in a hurry.

"I'll be going then. I'm expected at the palace."

Baek Ah says his goodbyes, his polite distant words sounding just right for the occasion, and Soo doesn't even try to hide her disappointment in seeing him gone so soon. But still, go he must, and when he takes his leave the servants also do, leaving Hae Soo and Wang Wook alone.

It's probably the first time they've been alone together ever since their wedding night, and Soo is not even one tiny bit more comfortable than she was last time.

Even so, she continues to sit, not moving an inch until she's sure that everyone else is gone and there are no more guests to receive. Then she speaks.

"Is that what you wanted me to hear?" Her question is not actually a question, but the 8th Prince answers it anyway.

"I thought it would be fair to let you know." He doesn't deny it, he's proud of it.

"And after opening my eyes to the 4th Prince's real nature, did you expect me to run into your arms and finally accept your feelings?"

"Soo-yah…"

"Stop trying, Wangjanim." She cuts him firmly and stands up, "I already know about the 4th Prince's new mindset. He made sure to make his point completely clear to me. Now, please, don't hurt the 13th Prince like that just to prove me a point."

Soo doesn't stay any longer that night. She excuses herself, calling out one of the servants to accompany her in her private quarters. She doesn't even mind that it's another one of his spies, as long as she doesn't have to hear whatever is rotting on that man's brain.

.

.

.

.

Every time the 8th Prince believed he had done something to make her upset, he would send a few servants to accompany her to the market. But shockingly, it wasn't that often.

Soo could try to argue with him, to stare coldly at him and say that letting her go on a shopping spree would not do a thing to lighten her mood up, but as it is a chance to leave that house and feel a few seconds of freedom - just a short inhale of fresh air - she decided to go along with no protests and no resistance.

Actually, she even began to act more depressed and angry in front of his spies whenever she wanted to go out, just so she could get her moments of peace.

It is during one of these walks in the outside world that she meets him again.

"Wangjanim?" Soo's voice pitches up with joy when she sees the man passing by the tea shop she was resting in, and when he stops to turn around she runs up to him, "I didn't think I'd find you here."

"What about you?" Baek Ah smiles as well, happily surprised to see her in the market, followed by two servants, "I thought you didn't like to come out of home."

 _I thought you were confined to that house and weren't allowed to leave._

"I've been making tons of soap, and wanted to test out new ingredients, so I came to look for something. The 8th Prince is being so kind to pay for me."

 _I can leave as long as I'm under watch._

Hae Soo feels the gaze of servants behind her, and although Baek Ah's eyes doesn't move away from her, she knows he's aware of their presence as well.

"So that's your life now?" he says as he puts on a smiling mask when he's sure that the women, who didn't approach too much when they realized he was a Prince, can't hear the sarcastic and bitter words, "Making soap?"

"I'm also making make-up."

Her comment is supposed to be bitter as well, but Baek Ah's face genuinely brightens up after she says it, and he takes his bag from the shoulders. And it doesn't pass unnoticed by Hae Soo that he maneuvers his body to turn his face away from the 8th Prince servants.

"I can help you with that," he says as he fumbles around his stuff, and then finally takes out a high quality pouch and offers it to her, "Here, these are some of the best pigments in the region. They're not as high quality as that oil essence I gave you, but I'm sure you're going to love the colors."

"Thank you, Wangjanim," Soo holds her gift with care, carefully and slowly untangling the strings that hold it closed.

"No problem at all," he shrugs and leans down over his bag to reorganize his luggage, "You can take it as a late birthday gift."

She's still untangling the first knot when her hand freezes and she looks down to him ominously, a shiver spreading from her fingertips, "Wangjanim…"

"He didn't see me in public," she hears the faint muttering coming from Baek Ah, although his head is low and his lips barely move, "But we did meet."

"Then why did you…"

"Not here," he stands up and speaks with an upbeat voice, but she doesn't miss the enigmatic glint on his eyes, "Open it when you're in a quiet place. We'll talk more later."

Then Baek Ah leaves, walking away calmly, as if he didn't just say something that shook her entire world. Soo watches him disappear in the middle of the crowd with a heavy heart, her mind filled with questions he just refused to answer.

Questions she needs actual answers to, as she's already starting to become mad.

She has to make the calculations twice - and then thrice - to make sure that yes, the 14th Prince did give her a gift in her last birthday, as it was when Baek Ah gave her jars of essence rose oil. And no, he didn't forget about it, he just mentioned it as he gave her the bag of colored powder - she confirms it with herself twice, then thrice - and even made a slight emphasis to it.

There was one person who didn't give her a proper gift.

 _Actually, he did. He took you out to stargaze on a beautiful night. He did say it was a gift. He couldn't have possibly send this now._

 _But wait, Wangjanim did say that he went to see him._

This whole breakdown doesn't last more than a few seconds, and although she's still confused and a little afraid of making too much assumptions, Soo is calm enough to look as if there was nothing off with the short conversation, calmly and tortuous slowly drinking the tea and finishing the cookies she ordered.

She doesn't want to eat them, she wants to go after Baek Ah and interrogate him. But the servants before her are loyal to Wook, and their eyes never once leave their lady.

Soo forces the cookie down her throat and puts on a pleased expression, wondering nonstop which place could possibly be a quiet place.

.

.

.

.

She waited for him in the market until she couldn't anymore.

Soo left the tea shop and shopped absentminded, feeling the servants tailing after her, all the while wondering if it would be alright if she tried to escape quickly and find the 13th Prince on her own.

Would he be able to say anything at all then?

But the sky becomes to grow dark, and she reprimands herself of even contemplating dangerous actions; tells herself that she should be glad for Baek Ah's brief message earlier, that there's no point in raising Wook's suspicion now, that she needs to hang on a bit longer and will soon get a proper conversation with the 13th Prince.

Soo manages to skip dinner by claiming that she has a headache. Of course, her husband insists on dropping by to check on her and she has to endure the man's presence, but she gets her moment of peace very soon. As soon as the servants think she has fallen asleep and leave her room.

She sneaks out of bed and to the dark night, following no path as she strolls under the shadows of the trees until she's as far away as possible. Just as she always does whenever she thinks she's at her limit, breathing some fresh air to relax her mind.

And she does need some fresh air now.

Soo starts to come up with ideas to be in touch with the 13th Prince again, tries to figure out what the 4th Prince is doing right now, and she's soon lost in fantasies, coming up with things she wanted to tell him right now. But then she hears the sound of steps coming closer to her, and she comes back to reality in a flash.

Her face goes from melancholic and wistful to aloof and apathetic in a second, as she turns around to face her new company, ready to face the servant-spies, the Princess and even the 8th Prince himself; her excuses already rehearsed and on the tip of the tongue. But then relief washes over her worries when she notices the details of the tall silhouette.

"Wangjanim!" A tiny, but content, smile breaks in her lips at the sight of the 13th Prince, but then her eyes bulge slightly in panic, "Are you sure it's safe to be here?"

"I spoke to Wook-hyungnim. It's alright." He places his hands on her shoulders and she notices she was hyperventilating about to panic, afraid her new husband would do something to Baek Ah for daring to trespass his house and speaking to his wife, "I'm a guest tonight, and I guess tomorrow as well, until my room is cleaned back in the palace."

But after his reassurance, she manages to calm down and ask in a soberer, but not less disdainful, voice, "Where is he now?"

"He's in his study room. He also said that wanted the three of us to have dinner together, but since you're unwell, I would have to wait for breakfast," the sarcasm is not subtle when he speaks about his brother, but there's a tinge of worry on his eyes and she knows he's a bit apprehensive for her sake, "I wasn't going to stay the night here, but you were brought back before I got to talk to you."

"Yeah, that tends to happen. Especially when someone passes by and he wants me to parade." That used to annoy her endlessly in the first couple of times, but she doesn't really care about that now and quickly jumps into what actually matters, "Now, what were you saying before? About the late birthday gift?"

Soo sort of already knows what he meant, but she wants to hear the confirmation from his lips. She doesn't want to keep holding on to guesses and inferences of obscure messages with double meaning. She wants to be reassured, because after three months of loneliness, of no actual news of the 4th Prince, her hope is becoming dull and numb.

He pauses before answering, and she doesn't miss the hesitation before he bursts with indignation.

"Weren't you the one who asked me to go see him? To become your spy?"

"The gift, Wangjanim." She raises her eyebrows when she speaks, as she has already seen past his acting. Her implication is clear: If he brought that gift back, he wasn't actually just a spy for her, but a spy for him as well, and if he was also keeping an eye on her for his fourth brother, then the 4th Prince sent not only a gift, but a message. Soo wants Baek Ah to confirm it to her, confirm it now, and just pass the message on, and finally hear his words after a long period of silence.

But if Baek Ah is So's messenger, then that means he knows everything.

Soo didn't want him to know, as it would only involve more people in danger, but she's glad. Last time they spoke she concealed many things. She put on a crying and abandoned face, as she had to fool everyone around her, so those around them would be fooled as well.

But now, they're on the same page about everything.

"Why didn't you tell me?" The 13th Prince ignores her pressing anxiety, and confronts her instead. He sounds a bit angry, although they both know there was no way she could have told him that the 4th Prince hadn't left her, not truly, and that he was only bluffing to fool their 3rd brother. Although it's not that she couldn't trust him, but that she couldn't trust her surroundings back then.

And yet, Hae Soo still looks down to her feet when she answers, "It wasn't the place to tell."

"You should have told me anyway," Baek Ah mutters, as if she's in the wrong here, and that he's still mad about that. But still, she smiles, knowing he is not blaming her and that he's actually really happy.

"Then, you came back because of the message?"

The 13th Prince looks affronted by her question, and evades his mission one more time.

"I would have returned even if he despised you as much as he despises my 8th brother," he speaks aghast, one octave above his usual tone, "You were my friend first."

His defensive speech makes her realize something else, and she nods as she muses out loud, "So he also threatened you with my safety."

"You know how scary hyungnim can be sometimes," he whispers, defensive, and she chuckles as she agrees.

"Of course he is. And so is your 8th brother," she reminds him quickly, her apprehension returning once again as she urges him to leave, "Let's stop talking about this now. I already know he's safe and well. Now, the message."

"How do you know…" Baek Ah is about to make another stupid question, but then he pauses and realizes that the answer is obvious, "Oh, right. He didn't say much, actually. He just told me to tell you that nothing has changed. Oh, and that I should give you this."

"I know I called him volatile before, but honestly, he's so stubborn that is not a surprise how constant and steadfast he is. Even his explanations are still the same."

"Thank you, Wangjanim," she smiles wholeheartedly, her heart a bit more at peace now that she has news from the 4th Prince "You don't have to come back here again. After you leave for the palace, don't visit anymore."

"Right, as if I'd just abandon you," he grumbles, although his exclamation is brave, "Even if I was that much of a coward, I'd still come back. I'm not only your spy, you know?"

"So, now that's all we can get, isn't it? Information from our most trusted spy."

"You wish it was easier," Baek Ah nods understandingly, and speaks with a confidential tone, "But maybe it doesn't have to be so hard. Maybe there's a way for it to happen. I'll figure something out, then I'll be coming from time to time to visit and try to leave messages. But we must be attentive to not leave trails or be overheard by someone. You take care."

Baek Ah turns around, ready to dash away, but she grabs his arm before he's gone.

"You too, Wangjanim," she says quickly, wanting to say much more, but only able to convey these words, "I know you'll support your brother at anything."

Soo looks meaningfully at him, and for a second Baek Ah's gaze grows a bit somber.

"You know too much."

"You take care, Wangjanim." It's her only response, with a light and bitter smile, "Both of you."

The 13th Prince nods, his eyes glistening with determination when he squeezes her hand reassuringly one last time, before breaking away and disappearing into the darkness.

Hae Soo decides to wait there for a few minutes, just in case the 8th Prince or one of his spies are nearby, and marches back to her chambers. Her heart is relieved and so is her mind, but not all of her worries are set just yet.

After all, Wang Baek Ah, although brave and determined, could not take her out from that cell either. He couldn't rescue her. And Wang So couldn't do much without attracting attention and raising suspicion from the King. He couldn't defend her.

None of them could.

Just like the day of her wedding with the late king Taejo, they would run and run around in circles, trying to find a way out for her. And in the end, they would all fail.

Just like that day, she would have to take matters into her own hands, and solve her problems on her own. She would take action, step up and find her own way out of this new mess her life had become. She would grow thick walls and fortify her defenses, and she wouldn't stop until she was free.

Even if she had to bleed.

* * *

 **Rito Dey : Sorry, she's still in Goryeo. But she's fine, though. Sort of.**


	6. THE LULL

**A\N: Hello everyone! Crazy times, huh? My classes were suspended for two months now, which should have meant I'd write more, but sorry, I can only write when I have something important to procrastinate at.**

 **That being said, I hope you continue enjoying these chapters, even though they take so long that it makes it hard to follow whatever is happening.**

* * *

Whenever Baek Ah plays for her, Hae So feels that her life is peaceful and that there are no reasons for her to worry or to fear back at her house.

She feels that she's not even in the 8th Prince's residence anymore, but somewhere far and remote. Somewhere that the palace's intrigues cannot reach her, and death and treachery are just a story people will tell about the days of old. If she stretches her imagination as she closes her eyes, she can almost feel the 4th Prince's presence next to her, and that makes things even more perfect.

But then the song ends, the final note echoes in the garden of her husband's house, and she has to open her eyes and face her reality.

It feels like she just woke up from a very nice dream, so she blinks rapidly as the eerily feeling around her dissipates gradually.

When she turns her face to her side she sees the 13th Prince watching her expectantly, and she smiles politely, silently asking him to go ahead and say what he has to say, and not to worry for the always vigilant eyes of his brother.

Baek Ah pauses slightly and lowers his gaze, tapping the base of his gayageum twice softly, as if uncertain of where to begin, and then he takes a deep breath and looks into her eyes before asking, "Did he touch you?"

Her expression softens at his question and she feels herself melting on the inside – the somber feeling that had started to settle on her heart fades away once again.

"I am fine, Wangjanim," her smile grows even bigger as she reassures him, "I can live just fine. Don't worry."

Baek Ah nods silently, his solemn expression saying that yes, he has understood that and will now move on.

"Sometimes I want to take you out of here," he speaks as if he's only musing or entertaining a passing thought, but Soo knows very well that he actually means what he's saying, and if she doesn't discourage him, there is a chance of this running out of control even more than they already have.

"And go to where?" She raises an eyebrow, amused by the remark that she knew would come eventually.

"Anywhere you want," Baek Ah says immediately, and Soo sighs, looking to the far sky and the far lands she wouldn't ever be able to visit as long as she was wed to the 8th Prince and Jeonjeong was on the throne.

"That would be bad for you." Her words come out in a sad tone. It's not easy for her to keep denying this, and it always makes her wish for things to be easier.

The 13th Prince keeps watching her in silence, and, after she doesn't say anything, he has the look of someone being forced to jump down from a cliff into a nest of snakes.

Soo looks down to his hands, his finger laying unmoving on the base of his gayageum, on the same spot he was silently tapping before, and then back to him, an expectant gaze, imploring him to cut the suspense and just say what he has to say.

"You asked me if I missed you," Baek Ah finally speaks after sighing in helplessness, his voice in a reluctant tone, "Did you really want an answer?"

Soo wants to laugh, especially after seeing the tortured face that the 13th Prince makes when he has to go through such situations. But she still can help herself from teasing him even further.

"I already know it," she says, and then she can't hold back the laughter at the betrayed look he gives her, "Don't worry."

Then his gaze softens and he speaks normally once again, "Don't tell me not to worry, and I won't tell you either."

Soo giggles at the ready response he has and then she, boldly, leans a little bit close and speaks in a lower voice.

"Then, can you please dream about me?"

Baek Ah's eyes bulge and he blushes, turning around from her and shaking his head vividly.

"No, that's too embarrassing," he breaks out of character and just keeps on refusing to look at her, so her tears won't move him, "Ask something else."

"What? Baek Ah-nim!"

She had actually spent a lot of time coming up with that message for the 4th Prince and hadn't had the time or peace of mind to think about something else that wasn't completely ordinary. If Baek Ah didn't send it to him at all, then she wouldn't have much.

"Sorry, I can't. It's too much."

Soo sighs and yields to Baek Ah's insistence, lest the man gives up on sending their messages back and forth because he decided their PDA was just too much for him.

"Then, what did you have for dinner?" She asks grudgingly, blurting out the first time that comes to her mind.

"Rice and grilled fish," he replies promptly and smugly.

"What?"

"He did say he got a feeling you would ask this," Baek Ah breaks out of character once again, solving Soo's confusion. His voice amused, as he didn't expect she would actually inquire about his brother's eating habits.

"What else did he say?" she blurts out and her hand is about to reach him and make him spill every single word he heard the 4th Prince utter when he was in Seokyeong. But one warning look from him is enough to make her stop, take a deep breath, and rephrase her question in a much calmer voice. "Then, Baek Ah-nim… tell me something fun from the world you saw out there?"

"Next time," Baek Ah says and taps his gayageum softly once again, signalizing the end of his messages and he starts to stand up, "Now, I really must go. If I stay too long I'll miss the time and won't be able to leave town with the sunrise tomorrow."

"Wangjanim!" she calls out before he takes his instrument away, and he looks back at her with attentive eyes, "Be careful out there."

Baek Ah nods slowly, to show he understands this is another message for him to take to Seokyeong, "Very well."

After Baek Ah stands up and takes the gayageum away, there is a small piece of paper on the floor, right next to her skirt spread out on the floor. Pretending to be leaning down for balance as she stands up, she puts a hand on top of it, grasping it tightly so it doesn't draw attention. And then, acting as if she's fixing her skirt, she slides it into the folds of her hanbok and walks back to the dining room, where she'll offer some food to her brother-in-law.

She's eager to open the letter, even though she knows it won't have too much information about him on it. Since Baek Ah had started to visit, the 4th Prince would sneak in a few poems he wrote for her – never signed, never addressed, never giving any hint as to who wrote to whom.

And yet, just like the one he had written for her the day he married Hyejong's daughter, she already knows she'll treasure it. She'll read it over and over again until she has it memorized on her heart. She'll lay it next to her when she's in bed, tracing over the traces of the ink, imagining his deep voice repeating it to her until she fell asleep.

It's just a piece of paper, and it's a very small comfort when compared to his physical presence. But it filled her with hope as she went back to the shadows of her husband's home.

.

.

.

.

The poem is still safely hidden during dinner with her husband.

Some would think that, after five months of fruitless attempts to make her share a meal with him, the 8th Prince would have gotten tired and given up already. Or that Hae Soo would have been the one to break in and started to at least eat along with him, even if in silence. Others wouldn't be surprised that, just like the day of their wedding, he was the only one eating and she was quiet the entire time.

He does say much, but he's visibly not pleased with her. Or with anything at all.

When he allowed Baek Ah to come and visit her from time to time, she had thanked him out of decency, but she noticed the glint on his eyes. He saw her display of good manners as a sign of progress and believed that it meant her feelings were rekindling and that soon they would be together again. Her skin itched at that idea and she felt compelled to correct his mindset. However, she decided that it would be best to keep him in a good mood, even if it was a result of his delusion.

Her decision soon proved to be a good one, because after a couple of reunions with the 13th Prince her husband had also allowed him to play for her in private, certainly sure that this action would only contribute to his plan of winning her back.

She had thanked him for that as well. Politely, and yet with a soft smile. It didn't hurt to smile. A smile didn't mean anything. If he was fool enough to be deceived by a smile, that was his problem.

However, months later there was no sign of progress, no further demonstrations of affection. And now Soo could see that he was getting impatient. Just the way he would look at her during his meal, and the tone of his voice whenever he made an unanswered comment would be a clear signal to anyone.

Well, that was also his problem.

Hae Soo's problem, on the other hand, was him - him and his tyrannical brother who wouldn't leave her alone. And her main focus right now was how to survive both of them, fight them off each of her sides. If he was suffering from romantic delusion and heartbreak, that would hardly be of any consequence for her.

She just had to keep him mildly entertained, just enough so that he wouldn't lash out at her.

That's why, after dinner is over and he bids her goodbye for the night, she doesn't turn her eyes away sharply, but bows and maintains her expression polite although not gentle. She doesn't make one sign of protest when he informs her that they will be going out to distribute food and clothes tomorrow. And when he leaves, there's no hint of annoyance at his presence or relief at his departure in her attitude.

She's doing a good job.

Hae Soo then retires to her quarters (Myung Hee's, she always reminds herself) and dismisses the servants that follow her. One of them, however, insists on accompanying her a little longer, to help with her night routine, and Soo doesn't refuse it. Soo allows the girl to come inside her bedroom, fuss with her boxes of jewelry, organize her make up trays, and even help to remove her hanbok. They even talk casually about the day, maintaining an amicable atmosphere, and Hae Soo smiles kindly, just like she used to with Chae Ryung.

When her hair is finally down and her face clean, the servant has no other reason to stay. Daeun bows respectfully and leaves, ready to give another throughout report to the 8th Prince: there's nothing out of the ordinary in her mistress' room, nor had she said or done anything suspicious. And since she's clearly very close to the lady of the house, the Prince will have no reason to doubt her.

It's tiresome to live like that, but Hae Soo is getting used to it.

She waits a few minutes after she's alone, to make sure the servant is not coming back with some excuse - prying eyes, perked up ears - and she's been truly left alone.

And then she waits just a bit more before she feels it's safe enough to retrieve the letter sent by the 4th Prince from inside her sock.

There's a candle burning next to her bed, as usual. She always leaves it burning, even if Baek Ah hasn't visited and she has no new letters. That's why she's not afraid that the dim light will raise suspicions from any passerby (spy) and feels safe enough to finally unfold the paper.

Soo reads it carefully, tracing over the strokes with a light touch, engraving each and every word on her mind and her heart, to the point that she can cite every single character without having to look at it - until she is satisfied.

She hasn't seen him in so long, and Baek Ah's messages and the scarce candlestine messages aren't enough to fill the hole he left in her heart. But it's better than nothing. It's better than the radio silence she would have otherwise.

As the candle approaches its end, however, she has to move on from his calligraphy, so she stands up and silently walks to her writing desk. The black inkstone resting on the side was a wedding gift from Woo Hee, and it has a concealed drawer underneath. Of course, the space in it wasn't much, but it was quite enough for the few poems the 4th Prince has managed to send to her, so no one would find them.

It would be enough to keep the 8th Prince's temper at bay.

.

.

.

.

To make things short, Hae Soo had been doing just enough things to keep her husband content with her behavior, but committing enough rebellious acts to keep feeling like herself.

It takes weeks until he finally loses his cool. Although she had expected to have a little more time in this standing, she actually manages to trick him for almost two months. And she feels a little victorious for evading her husband's censure for six months.

Oh, how low has her bar sink.

But yes, she had lived the past months in anticipation as she felt the shadow get closer, ready to do something in the case that, when he finally snapped, his outburst was more on the violent side.

Thankfully, he voiced his disapproval rather than demonstrating it with some sort of violent action. Although his attitude was as controlling as ever.

"I do not wish to see you alone with Baek Ah anymore," he said during dinner, managing to gain a reaction from her at last, "Ask for another musician next time."

She wants to remain silent, as usual, but they both know that this is something she won't ignore. And although she knows he marks it as a win, she won't see it as a loss.

"Very well," she nods, still looking away, as there is no reason to fight over that, he'll get what he wants in the end, "But I do not wish another musician. I'll find something else to do during my free time."

His new musician would certainly be another spy. And even if that wasn't the case, she knew if she accepted his arrangement, soon enough he would be accompanying her during her free time. And then it would be nearly impossible for her to keep doing her own business.

"You could always visit the other Hwangbo relatives," Wook suggests unsolicited, smiling as if he just had the greatest idea, "They haven't met you since the wedding."

"I don't feel comfortable with your family. I do not wish to see them again. Ever, if it's possible," her answer is blunt, "If you think that's a problem, you can always divorce me."

"That's not a problem at all," his smile trembles, but doesn't fade, "I just want you to do things you like."

"Then, can I divorce you?" She looks deadpan at him, her retort slipping with ease from her lips, and his mouth twitches as his elated face turns into a frown.

There are a few moments of silence in the room, and she's happy that she spoke, happy that she showed a bit of reaction this time around. Because the mild surprise she demonstrated earlier is a small price to pay for his flabbergasted and annoyed face.

"We've talked about this, Soo-yah."

"No, we haven't, Wangjanim."

There's silence again as her husband puts away his chopsticks. He is clearly in a foul mood, and she's glad that even when she just lost her moment to (sort of) talk with the 4th Prince she still got out with the upper hand over her husband.

"You just need to give me a chance. And be patient. Give it some time."

"You've had your chance. I told you before, nothing you do will change anything."

"We'll see about that. We'll see."

.

.

.

.

Ever since their last meeting, the Hwangbo Princess had started to act more cordially with Hae Soo. And although the woman was glad for that, she wouldn't believe for a second that her sister-in-law had turned into a decent person and harbored no ill intents towards her.

So Soo doubled her attention whenever Yeon Hwa was around.

The Princess seemed to know everything that happened between her and the Prince, although Soo could see that Wook never told her anything. But she noticed that every time they interacted she would base their entire conversation on how her brother had been treating her.

That's why, later on, on the same day that Wook forbade Baek Ah from playing to her, Soo was not surprised when Yeon Hwa arrived in her bedroom with a servant carrying a large chest.

"Orabeonim sent new hanbok sets, you should try them out." She smiled politely, "There is new jewelry for you to choose as well."

Soo smiled as well - for the sake of poor Minsoo, who was visibly afraid of witnessing an argument between them -, but her tone was rigid and cold when she spoke.

"Perhaps another time. I'm not in the mood to see new clothes right now." She dismissed them with a wave of her hand, not even bothering to stand up.

"It's been more than a month since the tailor last visited. And you still have the same accessories from when you were single," Yeon Hwa wasn't discouraged by Soo's refusal, and starts nagging as if they were close friends, "That's not very adequate."

"Yes, but no one needs to know that."

Soo averted her gaze back to the painting she was working on, which the other woman took as a sign to sit beside her and continue talking.

"They're the purest silk of the richest color, they have the finest embroidery you couldn't even dream of having while working in the palace. Why be so down and petty about a gift?" She continued the friendly banter and then sighed, as if Soo was the one being problematic, "Just dress them. It's not like you would be making a statement."

"Tell me, Gongjunim, did new clothes make you feel better during your exile? " Soo retorted immediately but absentmindedly, still not looking at her, "I'm in no need of new clothes of jewelry. Tell my husband that he does not need to keep sending them."

Instead of leaving, however, Yeon Hwa made a sign to Misso, who gratefully placed the box on the floor and excused himself out of the room, leaving the two women alone.

For a long moment, there was no sound in the room besides the soft swipes of the brush on the ink and then on the paper. The Princess kept looking straight at her, but Hae Soo didn't bulge under the prying eyes, didn't even allow herself to be intimidated nor insecure. She thought of it as a staring game, and the first one to flinch or show the slightest reaction would lose.

It was a stressful game, but she was getting better and better at it.

Finally, the woman grows tired of staring (she lost) and started to speak her mind.

"You're planning something, aren't you?" Her tone was taunting and she spoke in a low voice, as if they were confidants, "Orabeonim might not notice it, but I do. I just don't know what it is."

"I'll tell you, then." Soo puts the brush and lowers her voice, almost whispering back to the woman, "I'll just annoy him until he begs me to divorce him."

"And what would you gain with that?" Yeon Hwa continues the little play of whispering back and forth.

"Someone like you wouldn't know."

"Fine," she chuckles, as if getting tired of a silly game and stands up, "I'll just keep watching you. You'll have to make a mistake eventually."

"Then watch me closely, Gongjunim. And in return, I'll pay attention to you as well."

Yeon Hwa smiles cordially again before leaving her alone, and Hae Soo can finally continue to paint a random waterfall.

She wonders how long the Princess would take to strike.

.

.

.

.

The strike actually comes in the very next morning. Which was not that surprising, now that Soo thought about it.

However, at the moment, she was caught out of her guard.

Wook and Yeon Hwa arrived early in her bedroom, as they would always do whenever she claimed to be too unwell to get up and out of bed. They brought a few servants carrying food and medicine to make her feel better and exchanged the basic pleasantries one would to their unwanted husband and jealous sister-in-law. But, when they were just about to leave, the Princess suddenly called out in a glee voice.

"Oh, Soo-yah! Where did you get this?"

Soo's eyes involuntarily moved to the woman, who was holding the old and rusted hairpin the 4th Prince had left behind.

"I found it in the garden." She replies careless, anxious to make them leave at once.

"You just found a hairpin laying around in the garden?" Yeon Hwa asks incredulous and yet excited, as if there must be a secret story behind the simple accessory that Soo's keeping to herself, "That's absurd."

The 8th Prince turns around to where his sister is standing, next to the drawing table, and that's when it hits Hae Soo.

She was sure the hairpin was inside her box of make-up. She was sure, because just last morning she had held it for a while, already missing his letters. And she vividly remembered keeping it back in the same place, which was nowhere near the table where Yeon Hwa had found it.

Her eyes squint a little bit, as she wonders what exactly could the Princess achieve by making her confess the story of the hairpin, and she replies slowly.

"It is absurd, but I did. A while ago, actually."

"Sure, you did," Yeon Hwa chuckles, amused. Then she walks closer to her brother, so he can take a closer look as well, "Doesn't it look like that one So-orabeonim had? When he still lived here?"

Wook's expression of curiosity merges into one of dissatisfaction, and she can finally see where the Princess is getting at.

"So you think he lost this here years ago and only now I found it?" Soo asks with enough scorn so the truth comes out as a preposterous accusation.

"What? That'd be ridiculous."

"Of course it would. But then the only other possibility was if he gave it to me himself, which he didn't since I found it in the garden."

"It is true, Wangjanim." Soobin finally intervened, and Yeon Hwa's gloating face diminished a little bit, "We were accompanying Buin when she found it."

The storm then passes from the Prince's face, as he trusts enough in the old servant to know she's telling the truth. Then he looks to the other girls Soobin indicated and breathes out in relief when he sees Daeun nodding along with the others.

Satisfied, Wook takes the hairpin from his sister and puts it in the bed, next to her hand.

"Lots of people come and go from this house." He concludes, signalizing that he believes her, "Keep it. If no one came looking for it, it's yours."

He finally leaves, and Yeon Hwa has no option but to leave as well, failing to reciprocate Soo's gloating smile. The servants also trail away, leaving only Daeun behind to attend to their lady, and Soo breaths out slowly.

"Daeun-ah," she calls the girl before she starts to snoop and gossip, "I know I just ate breakfast, but could you please go bring some dumplings for me? The ones with cinnamon. I think it will help me take medicine."

"Of course, Buin." The girl bows and leaves Soo alone with her thoughts.

After all, just how many times could Yeon Hwa strike before she got her neutralized?

.

.

.

.

The next weeks are torture.

This time, however, is not so much because of the tension of having to live in the Hwangbo house as the 8th Prince's wife, and more because she has no prospects of getting news from the 4th Prince in the near future. With Baek Ah prohibited from staying alone with her, there's no way he'll be able to pass a secret message to her. Which means that there's no way she'll get any other news besides that he is alive.

And so, more than a month passes in boredom for Hae Soo.

She does some stuff, of course. She keeps her eyes open and the mental lists of names frequently updated. She watches as the players move the pieces around, and just like she used to do with doramas, she takes guesses on what's happening next, who's going to do what.

Watching the game from a safe distance is starting to become a game for herself. She just has to keep on wearing the mask of the pawn.

Pawns are weak, so people tend to not care about them and only use them as fodder. Pawns are small and rarely deemed as a threat.

Paws were the opposite of the prized King.

"The king asked for you." Wook kneels next to her after he brings the news, disturbing her tea time, and then advises her with a low voice, "Beware of what you say when you're in his presence."

"What could I say that would be dangerous?" Soo raised her eyebrows as she put the cup of tea aside, her appetite lost.

"He could trick you into a position you're not safe."

"Sounds familiar."

The moment of silence that follows Soo's retort is thick, and she appreciates it very much.

But then he starts speaking again, with that self-indulging tone that always makes her skin crawl and she starts to appreciate the moment a little less.

"Soo-yah, you know that for me, your safety..."

"Pyeha is waiting. I will be leaving now."

She stands up at once, signalizing the girl that was attending to her to come along.

"Yes. Of course." Wook stands up as well and, after a moment of hesitation, orders, "Take one more servant with you, someone you're comfortable with. I think Daeun can accompany you."

"Thank you."

She makes sure that her shoulders relax visibly when he mentions Daeun, even though Soo would have preferred to go with only Bora (she can trust Bora, the girl had come with Myung Hee to Songak). She makes a show that her guard is being lowered right in front of him and nods to Bora to go fetch the Daeun.

Then she waits for the carriage outside, enjoying the fresh air before she is taken once again in the presence of Jeonjeong.

Wook insists on accompanying her until the gates of the residence, visibly shaken by the King's invitation, afraid something is going to happen and she is going to be killed.

After all, everyone feared the King and his power. Even the ones that were planning to kill and overthrow him.

It's a pity that people tended to forget just how limited the King's moves were.

"Interesting. Very interesting." Wang Yo cheers, raising his cup of tea for a toast after Soo is done relaying him the new moves and allies of her husband, as well as his possible strategies and plans, "If I knew marrying you off to Wook would be pay off so much, I would have done it sooner."

"I didn't think I was your only spy on him."

"Oh, you're not, I assure you. You're just the one with a better position to pick up this sort of information so quickly. Although it's hard to find little birdies willing to betray their men like yourself," the King muses as he leans back on his throne, turning his eyes away from Hae Soo, standing by his side, "I guess that there's Baek Ah's girl as well, but she's a bit of a pain sometimes."

Yo makes a pause, waiting for Soo to react, to be shocked or at least surprised. She can see the expectation in his teasing voice and relaxed posture. So she feels a tiny smug satisfaction when she gives him neither and replies in a measured voice.

"It's what tends to happen when someone has their family killed, their home destroyed and their people enslaved."

"I guess that's true. It does tend to happen." He scoffs, but she knows he's annoyed, "How about you, why are you hard to control?"

"Because, after I drowned when I was younger, an entity took over my body and it rebels against tyrants and injustice."

It is the truth, of course, and a truth Hae Soo has spent the past years fighting to hide, afraid of they would when they found out. But claiming that now holds no danger, no risk. On the other hand, her retort only amuses the King, who begins to laugh and cackle until tears are coming out of his eyes.

"That's actually a great story," he comments when he finally manages to take a breath.

"I came up with it last night."

"Oh, what a waste of your talents," he pouts jokingly and pours another cup of tea for himself, "How is your marital life, by the way?"

"Oppressive. It's like I'm a prisoner."

"You would be a prisoner anywhere, remember that."

"But here I would have something to do."

"Didn't I just give you something to do?"

"I want to be free, Pyeha," she refutes his logic, breaking the palace protocol as she stares at him, "I don't want to do things because I'd die otherwise. That's no way to live."

Jeonjeong stares back at her, his face serious as he slowly weights her words. They stand in silence, cautiously gauging what the other could be possibly be thinking of.

Just another staring game.

"And what if I give you your freedom?"

Jeonjeong breaks the silence, but this time it's Hae Soo's loss, as she is caught by surprise. But she manages to hide it well, her senses warning her that this another trap, another test, "I would ask what you want in return."

"Just another twist," Yo's eyes glint just like they did when he announced Hae Soo's wedding, "It's fun to watch."

"Woo Hee-yah."

The woman turns around as soon as Soo calls out her name. The former Sanggung of the Damiwon doesn't smile when she meets her old friend, even though she is glad to have met her.

"Soo-yah." The Sanggung of the Gyobang doesn't smile either, but her eyes glint with relief and joy, so Soo knows she's glad to meet her as well, "It's been a while."

They walk closer to each other, crossing the courtyard and abandoning their tasks at hand for a brief moment in a friendly company. Then they both signal their entourages to wait until they're done talking and give them some privacy.

(Mentally, Soo prepares what she'll tell at home so Daeun's words don't make it look like she's involved in some conspiracy.)

"You're still here," it's the first thing Soo says to her. Not in surprise nor delight, nor even to state a fact. Her words are more of a worried and pitiful remark and carry more questions than answers.

"I have nowhere else to go."

"I heard that the 13th Prince asked you to go to his hometown."

"There's no way I can do that."

"Because you're the Hubaekje Princess?"

Woo Hee knows how to hide her surprise well, and doesn't even flinch when Soo mentions her true identity. There is only a moment of silence as she assimilates the words and calms her mind to come up with the best way to explain her position.

"I left it all behind. A long time ago."

"Not everyone did, apparently." Soo doesn't have to mention names, Woo Hee knows exactly who are the ones who won't let her bury her own past.

Her friend needs a few more moments to maintain her composure, to not break down. Soo knows that she's pushing a little bit, but she also knows how great is the relief of not being the only one oppressed by keeping a secret.

Heaves know just how much she wishes she could tell everyone she was from the future.

"How long have you known?"

"Around a month." Soo hesitates on how to keep talking about the topic and the opts to be cryptic, "You have powerful allies."

Woo Hee scoffs as her eyes fill up with tears, although not a single one drops.

"You know, it took me too long to realize that they had no intents of restoring Hubaekje. And when I did I was already too involved to get out. At least not without affecting the very few people I care about."

She doesn't have to mention names either, but Soo does it anyway this time.

"I'm sure Baek Ah would understand."

Woo Hee shakes her head quickly, stopping Soo from getting any more ideas or making any sort of promises.

"He would try to be a hero and get me out. And that would only end up with him dead." She comes closer, taking Soo's hands into her own, holding them tightly and almost desperately, "No, Hae Soo. I can't tell him. He's already risking too much by getting too close to me, knowing very well that his mother's family wouldn't approve. I can't ask him any more than that."

"You wouldn't have to ask." Soo feels a lump form in her throat, as the girl's hopelessness starts to spread to her as well, and she feels the urge to revolt, "Why don't you do something yourself, then?"

"What could I do? I came to Goryeo with only one intent, only one aspiration, and I failed. I can't fail again, Soo-yah." Woo Hee closes her eyes, as the tears suddenly become too much to hold on, "Before, a failure would only result in my death. Now, even you could be implicated if I stepped out of line. I will do my task."

"Even if it kills you in the process?"

"That's what we're made for." She takes a deep breath and her anguished face merges into a serene look, her hands stop trembling and let go calmly. When Woo Hee opens her eyes there are no signs of a storm on the verge of breaking, "We are just tools, Hae Soo. Tools that build the foundations of their Empire. If a tool no longer works, then it is discarded and a new one replaces it."

.

.

.

.

Hae Soo went home with a heavy heart.

In the past eight months, she had spent as Wang Wook's wife, she thought she had developed the greatest mask, the perfect act to hide her insecurities and faults. She believed to be a magnificent actress, a girl who appeared to be naïve and fragile, but that had a few daggers hidden underneath the soft petals.

Now she realized she just had never seen someone more broken and deformed than her.

Because Woo Hee mask of confidence and grace hid a tragedy worthy of plays and songs. And Soo, in all of the years she knew the girl, had never even imagined that there was such a great shadow weighing down on her. Perhaps not even Baek Ah knew just how deep her wounds were - wounds that had only scarred on the surface, but that still stung as if they were still recent on the inside.

For the first time in a long while, Soo's head wasn't filled with plans on how to keep herself alive, but on how delicate a person's life was.

Soo knew what it was like to feel powerless and eager to just surrender, give up the fight. She had felt herself the weight of someone else's life, but after she recovered her strength, she only ever wanted to live the fullest and for herself alone.

Woo Hee had forfeited her own life so many others could continue to live.

The tearful eyes and painful words of her friend kept replaying in her mind until she got in her bedroom (Myung Hee's, she reminds herself) and she couldn't do anything else.

Thankfully Wook didn't request her company for dinner that day, so she dismissed the servants and asked to be left alone for the night. And looking attentively to her Buin, Daeun knew better than to insist otherwise.

As soon as she was sure all the eyes were gone, Soo took the inkstone from the writing desk and carried it closer to the lone candle near her bed. After dealing with Wook and his spies, then Yo and then Woo Hee, she was craving for the comfort of the poems the 4th Prince had sent to her. Soo knew them all by heart, of course, but she felt calmer whenever she held the letters herself. She felt at ease, closer to him, every time she simply glanced at them.

Soo opens the drawer, careful not to damage the concealed opening and not to smudge her clothes or her blankets with any remaining ink, and her blood runs cold.

The drawer is empty.

Her hand taps the stone anxiously as if she's doubting her own eyes and she has to make sure that yes, her poems are gone, and when she does she feels the despair starting to take over her, because she needed those letters, she needed that one piece of comfort in her chaotic life, she needed those poems to anchor herself back to reality, but they're gone.

Then the despair slowly starts to turn into fear and apprehension as it dawns upon her.

Her letters are gone; not lost nor misplaced, stolen. They were taken away from her, taken away from a secret place.

 _Who took them?_

 _Who found them?_

 _What would happen now?_

She has no reason to believe that whoever took the trouble to investigate every single inch of her room until finding those few pieces of papers had no ill intentions towards her. On the contrary, she's certain that whoever did this was a spy of the Prince or the Princess.

 _What she would do now?_

After a couple of anxious minutes, Hae Soo manages to take a deep breath and calm herself down. She parts from the two possibilities of what happened when she was away and traces down the few possible ways each case would go down. And to each setback, she comes up with a plan of action, until she can be sure that things won't fall on her in the future.

Soon Hae Soo realizes that no matter who took them, no matter what they did, she would end up having to do something more active to clean this mess up.

That would be a problem for tomorrow.

So she puts the inkstone back on its place, as if it had been there the entire time, to begin with, and returns to her bed.

Hae Soo blows the candle and the flame flickers before it dies out. She rests her head back on the pillow, closing her eyes to the troubles that surround her.

She'll be fine.

She tells herself that it doesn't change anything, that nothing will bring her down and everything will be fine.

She keeps telling herself that, hoping that soon she'll start to believe it.

* * *

 **My writing technique is divided into four steps. 1: Spend one month reorganizing the timeline. 2: Spend two or more months figuring out the lines and the key sentences of the chapters. 3: One day of intense writing to turn a 600 words draft into a 6k chapter. 4: One day of intense editing as I check out like a hundred words that I'm not sure I used properly or that I didn't know how to say in English, and then try to find the bits that my brain forgot I wasn't writing in Portuguese and messed up the grammar.**

 **That being said, see you all again in a few months! (sorry about that, btw)**


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